Seeking

I've Moved!

2009-10-03T00:34:00.000-07:00

Hi Everyone!

I've moved over to a new address: www.seekingmylife.com

I've been meaning to move the address for this blog for a while, and less than a week from my 25-year high school reunion seems like a good time to take care of it.

The 3rd part of the Kimchi Meet-Up post is now there, and you can read about my adventures in Korean Karaoke!

While you are there, please remember to bookmark the new site, or start following it. All the old posts have been copied over there, and all NEW POSTS will be there as I write them.

Multi-purpose Craft Sticks

2009-09-27T17:00:00.000-07:00

As I took Barley to soccer practice, he informed me that Daddy had a "special treat" for all 4 of us, and while he (Barley) had already had his, I was going to be lucky enough to have mine after practice.

DH had just gone grocery shopping, so I will admit my curiosity was piqued. I had eaten a hurried dinner in the 15 minutes between when I stepped out of the home office and when I took Barley to his 1.5 hour practice. A special dessert sounded good to me.

Barley was delighted I had forgotten my knitting, since this meant I would have to WATCH him the whole practice for a change. He was not thinking about the fully charged iPhone with internet access in my pocket.

Hey, there are only so many times I can watch kids run backward and dribble a ball with one foot around orange cones. I watch the GAMES without my knitting--those are too exciting to miss! Practice is another matter. Barley tries to "test" me by giving me a thumbs up signal. If I am watching, I am to give him one back. He informed me that last practice, he signaled me 6 times, and I only saw him once! I hinted maybe he wasn't holding his thumb up long enough or high enough, and anyway, they practice waaaay across the field from me so who can see that far anyway?

He informed me that he held the thumbs up at least 15 seconds each time, and that meant that he signaled me for at least 90 seconds (at least his math is good)! I retorted he was lucky I sat there through the practice at all--most of the other moms are dropping their kids off and leaving--so there!

Anyway, as I sat in the hot sun semi-watching the drills, I daydreamed about this special dessert. Ice cream sandwiches? Nah, Barley had just scarfed a box of these last week--that wouldn't seem that exciting to him. It couldn't be Haagen-Dazs or Ben and Jerry's--the boy only likes chocolate--the more interesting flavors would be wasted on him.

I wondered what it could be that he thought was so special? When we finally got home, Barley instructed me to wait in the living room, so he could ask Daddy to get the special dessert out for me. I waited 10 minutes, then realized Barley was in the TV room playing video games with his brother. When I called out to ask if I could go in the kitchen yet, Barley said he'd forgotten--then told his Dad what I was waiting for.

DH called me into the kitchen, and warned me that I might not be quite as excited as Barley was. He reached into the fridge and pulled out....

a homemade frozen popsicle made from apple juice.

OK, I will admit I felt a little let down. Frozen juice treats are not my favorite thing, but Barley was watching me with such a happy, proud grin (it was MY idea to make them, Mommy, and we saved that one for YOU!), I had to eat it.

I had just finished the last drop, licking the craft stick off, when I asked DH where he found the craft sticks? I didn't remember there being any in the kitchen.

DH: "I got them from the kids' art supplies in the office."

Me: "Were they in some wrapped packaging or something? I don't remember buying any."

DH: "No, they were loose in that glass container with all the loose parts...why?"

Me: " Oh... Those were from their stick and tape rafts that they brought home from school. I took the tape off when they abandoned them--figured they could just reuse them in some other craft project."

DH (laughing at me): "Lucky you didn't ask until you were done with the popsicle, huh?"

Me: "Yeah, right. So... don't save these, OK?"

Message to all well-meaning Dads out there: Don't prepare food with children's art supplies, and we promise never to serve you a soda with an empty paper towel tube as a straw...Deal?

Kimchi Mamas Meet-Up (Part 2 of 3)

2009-09-24T22:44:00.000-07:00

At the speed with which I am cranking out these posts, I should be done by the time we organize our NEXT Meet-up--in November!

Work is looming large, and while I am on target to hit all my MBO goals, it's been a lot of late nights and working weekends to get there. Not much "me" time this month, which translates to not much time for you, my blogging audience. I am sure all dozen of you are waiting with bated breath for the next Kimchi Mamas Meet-Up post! (9 of you were there with me!)

My first impression of the NorCal Kimchi Mamas group? Well, first off, we really put the "Mamas" in the Kimchi Mamas. If I kept count right, there were 3 pregnant moms, 2 of whom are in their 9th month. And 2 moms of nursing newborns. 2 Moms brought their daughters with them, and one brought her accommodating husband along so as to have both family time and Kimchi Mamas time. Now *that* is efficient use of time. The poor man had no idea the conversation immediately flipped to discussion of vaginas whenever he left the table.

Some of us (ahem) were more experienced Mamas, with older children, but we all connected pretty easily. No loudmouths in the group (I was on my best behavior). We all had made some effort on appearance, though none of us was polished enough to go grocery shopping at a typical Korean grocery store. You can tell the "real" Koreans from us Americanized versions by the high heels--YES, for getting groceries. In that context, the pink parking spaces in downtown Seoul do make a warped kind of sense after all.

The Meet-Up was at Sahn Maru in Oakland, which I learned had been reviewed on the KQED show, "Check, Please!". Our organizer, Mary Choi, in all her pregnant glory, is even ON the show--watch here. It is a good review of the restaurant. I would definitely go back again.

We did think it was odd they did not mention the buttock sculptures hanging on one wall of the restaurant...it was an interesting piece of...well...art. Yeah. If you want to see OUR feast, click here. Following are short descriptions of who I met that dinner--the introductions were funny as we gave our actual names, then had to explain our online identities as well.

Mary Choi, our organizer--I pronounced her name "Choy" when I came in, the host clarified it to the Korean pronunciation "Chey"...it brought me right back to Seoul. Mary is lively, funny, mother to a newborn (why does she still have so much energy)? And persuaded several of us to go to karaoke with her after...more on that in my next post. Read her at:

http://so-yun.livejournal.com (personal blog)
http://www.perfect.etsy.com (jewelry hand made by yours truly)
http://twitter.com/so_yun (follow me on twitter!)

"Twizzle" - one of our founders--I sat too far away from her during dinner, but she did sing with us at Karaoke, so that tells you something. Not sure what, but something. I hope to get to know her better in the future. Read her at:

http://baboonmag.blogspot.com/

Eleanna: blog reader (Thank Goodness we have some!)--again, other end of the table--though she did share a funny story about her name and people mispronouncing it as she was growing up. Eleanna not being a typical Korean name, in case you couldn't tell.

Karen the Californian--new Mama--I sat next to her at dinner and at karaoke. She looked great, except for the flip-flops. Definitely no pink parking spaces for her! Read her at:
http://karenthecalifornian.blogspot.com

Julie Kang, the one I had read the most, of course ended up completely at the other end of the table from me. At least she did come to karaoke, so we got to hear her pipes. She also posted a picture of me in her blog, but I won't tell you which one is me. Read her at:
http://geishaschooldropout.com

Shinyung Oh - I had already read some of her excellent posts--her journey to motherhood is chronicled here: http://shinyungoh.blogspot.com/

Glennia -- we sat too far away--it was a looong table. She writes a travel blog, and that makes me jealous, since I love to travel but have not had time or $ since having kids. Sigh. Glennia may also have been the only one of us to go to BlogHer, but I might have that wrong.
@glennia on Twitter
Personal/Family Travel Blog: The Silent I: http://glenniacampbell.typepad.com
Political Blog: MOMocrats: http://momocrats.typepad.com

Min Jung brought her very quiet, well behaved baby to the dinner, and told us about Captain Poong Poong, a "magical farting children's program hero in Korean" to quote her Twitter feed. Not being one to shy away from body talk, I noticed she posted this very funny, poignant, and completely accurate post about the relationship between a baby and a nursing mother. Or, I should say, a baby and her mother's boob. Mom's really just there as a bonus.

http://minjungkim.com/2009/09/22/all-about-my-boobs/

Eingy -- One of the new moms, Eingy sat across from me. She was very nice, and said some clever things, but I've taken so long writing this post, I can't remember details anymore. She has written a very good post on interpersonal communications. You know, the stuff you wish you could staple to someone's forehead when they just don't "get it." (Ooops, that might be my PMS hormones talking there...don't mind me)

Twitter by eingy
Her blog is at http://inciteariot.helava.com

So, lots of sharing, lots of laughing, not nearly as much vagina talk as one woman's husband thought there would be, and hopefully, the start of some long friendships.

Next post, sometime before the end of the year...Karaoke. Yes, dear readers, I sang. If you can call it that...

Kimchi Mamas Meet-Up (Post 1 of 3: Anticipation)

2009-09-17T10:08:00.000-07:00

I can't believe it has been a whole week since my last post--school has begun, which mean Cub Scouts is organizing, and so is the annual Cub Scout Popcorn Sale. If anyone in the SF South Bay wants some, let me know, I would be happy to deliver!

In the meantime, end of quarter is coming, work is piling up on top of my evenings and weekends, and I've just been plain old BUSY.

Not that this stopped me from meeting up with out-of-town friends when I get the chance! The Kimchi Mamas Blog group had a Northern California Meet-up, which I attended, and I am GLAD I did! If you want to see pictures of the AWESOME food we ate while we bonded, click here.

I'd been looking forward to this for a while, ever since it was proposed weeks ago. I have been reading the blog for months, and even started reading a few of the affiliated blogs, like Julie Kang's Geisha School Dropout. I found her through her hilarious post on Kimchi Mamas, and discovered a really humorous, witty voice.

As I left the house for the hour long drive to the designated restaurant, I ran through a mental checklist of preparations:

Shower, hair, & make-up? Check
Clothing: nice enough to look like I cared, but not like I was trying too hard? Check
Shaved pits, legs below the knee? Check
Brushed teeth? ooops, not since the morning...but hey, we were going to be eating kimchi, who would notice?
Energy level? doing OK...DH made me some coffee to perk me up on the road...I think I'll keep him.
Friendly, open attitude? Check
Ready to meet some new people? As an extrovert, GOD, Yes!!

OK, so setting aside the pressure of being charming and witty to a bunch of gals I've never met before, but who I think I kind of know a little bit from stalking...er...reading their blogs, I started to wonder what the dinner would be like.

A table full of a dozen bloggers...several scenarios came to mind:

We might be loud and boisterous. Some of the Mamas write brash personas, I read "balls to the walls" in one post. Would we all be loud egotists (blogging requires some narcissism), each person trying to top the next in funny stories? And where would I fit in? I can certainly be loud, and know how to verbally elbow my way into a conversation to grab some spotlight if I feel like it. Would I be the loudest? Funniest? Or would I say something really stupid, insensitive, or just weird? Would the person sitting next to me move her chair closer or further away as the evening progressed?

We might be really intellectual. We are mostly writers (and some readers) after all--we must be a wordy bunch.

They might all be way more Korean than me. I think I was the only adoptee that responded to the invite, so everyone at the table would have a more authentic Korean upbringing than I do. Korean parents, perhaps even Korean in-laws. While I have lived in Korea for a year as a language student, my childhood was pretty white. I thought I had immersed myself in enough Korean culture that I would fit in fine--some yellow dye for the twinkie/banana inside, but there are certainly cultural parts of raising a Korean child in the US, that my Irish/Newfie upbringing did not impart to me.

I pulled up at the address, 25 minutes early, and looked around. It did not look that impressive from the outside. I waited, and waited. By 5 minutes to the hour, still alone, I suddenly realized they might all be on "Korean time." Just as I was thinking that, the first couple of arrivals showed up. Whew. I went in to join them at the long table, and was pleasantly surprised to find it was a very nice restaurant once inside.

More about who I met, and why I had a wonderful time, in my next post. Soon, I promise!

Crazy Love and a worthy cause

2009-09-10T23:08:00.000-07:00

A friend is involved in putting on this event below, so I am gladly sharing information to promote this worthy cause.

It can be a terrible thing to have a secret that you don't think you can share with anyone. Living a life where there is something terribly wrong, whether it is your health, a loved one's illness, a problem in your marriage, or the domestic abuse this event is raising funds to protect against...one of the worst parts is the loneliness of feeling that you are fighting a battle and suffering alone. We all need help and support at times, and no woman should ever be in the shoes of the speaker highlighted below.

Unfortunately, it does happen. My college roommate volunteered at a shelter, and helped me get inside the heads of both the victims and perpetrators by recommending I read "Men Who Hate Women and the Women Who Love Them. " Thank GOD my background is such that I could not understand how any person could believe they have no choice, or deserve such treatment. The book above helped me see how it can happen.

I have friends and family who have survived this in their own first marriages. It appalls me every time I think about it, that the beautiful, talented, smart, loving women that I call friends, could ever have thought this was the best life had to offer them. And I am SO glad they got out. It freaks me out to think I may know someone today who is still in this kind of relationship...I have some that I "get a feeling" about, but I hope hope hope I am wrong.

I am already booked the evening this is happening, but if you happen to be free and in San Jose, you might want to consider attending this event--I bet it will be very interesting. And if, like me, you have a calendar conflict, then at least click the link for Next Door Solutions to Domestic Violence and check out what they do and what they need.

"If you and I met at one of our children's birthday parties, in the hallway at work, or at a neighbor's barbecue, you'd never guess my secret: that as a young woman I fell in love with and married a man who beat me regularly and nearly killed me."'

Click HERE to register for Surviving Crazy Love and Mommy Wars: An evening with Leslie Morgan Steiner

Oct 8, 2009 5:30-8:30pm

FOR MORE INFO, CLICK HERE

As You Like It ...or not: San Jose Rep Review

2009-09-08T07:00:00.000-07:00

Warning: this is a long review of the San Jose Rep's new play. Feel free to skip over if theatrical criticism is not your thing.

DH and I saw the opening night of the San Jose Rep's production of Shakespeare's As You Like It. If, like me, you are less familiar with this comedy, here is a link to the study guide the Rep thoughtfully provided for the show.

The Plot:
This is another one of the Bard's cross-dressing female plays, where you find the male romantic lead talking to his lover unknowingly, as she is dressed as a man and pretends to "cure" him of his ailment of being in love...with herself. There are also some anti-fraternal themes, where 2 sets of brothers try to kill or banish each other from court.

The Setting:
I actually liked the large screens used as the backdrop. When I read other reviews beforehand, I was a little uneasy about the modern day setting. I am somewhat of a purist, and prefer my Shakespeare set in the times they were written. However, the use of the videos for both setting the immediate location of a scene (wrestling in a WWF-style arena, orchard, forest), as well as for setting mood and shifting through seasons, worked for me. The screens added to the imagery and set mood, time and place very well.

The Staging:
Excellent! The best part was when James Carpenter, playing long-winded forest poet Jacques, delivers the famous, "All the World's a Stage...one man in his time plays many parts, His acts being seven ages..." As he recounts the ages, from "infant, mewling and puking" to schoolboy, lover, soldier, justice, pantaloon, he is disrobing on stage, until finally discarding his long haired wig for "second childishness"... instantly transforming into Old Adam, the aging servant that followed Orlando into the forest. He starts to fall to the stage, to be caught by Orlando and brought to the banished Duke for succor. VERY dramatic, and well done!

I also liked the World Wrestling Federation treatment of Orlando's wrestling match with Charles, and the establishing of the usurper Duke Frederick as an underworld crime boss.

The Great Depression era staging of the outcasts in the forest didn't really work for me. I get that modernizing the setting for Shakespeare can refresh the story, or give it new perspective. However, I found the juxtaposition of modern day WWF with video cameras, cell phones, with "Grapes of Wrath" style Joads moving West to be too disconcerting. I would prefer they pick A time period, and stick with it. Maybe I missed the time machine somewhere...

The Music:
Sepidah Moafi sang beautifully--it is easy to see how she got her part.

The Costumes:
Well...OK, I didn't love every aspect of the show. I love costumes, and miss our San Jose Ballet subscriptions this year in large part due to the costumes. I am sure my bias toward unadulterated Shakespeare is owed to this, since costumes from centuries ago are more interesting to me than modern dress.

I spent most of the play hating the costumes worn by the two female leads, as seen in this link. Rosalind is dressed like Annie Hall, and Celia wears a lovely...prom dress. These both clash with the modern urban setting. The only time period where these outfits would make sense is a 1970's high school prom with Rosalind as a chaperone, and Celia as the debutante. Ick.

There were some scenes with attire that worked well: Duke Frederick as crime boss, and the WWF style wrestling contest, are some examples. Jacques' long leather coat is a nice touch, too--gives him a depressive poet's look, reminiscent of Neil Gaiman's Sandman character, or Neo from The Matrix. Phebe's costume was pretty interesting too...unique, which suits her character's quirks.

The Acting:
Actors--AMAZING! Special Standout performance by Cristi Miles as Celia, the cousin/bosom friend of the protagonist. Her impassioned speeches about love, and devotion could have brought tears to the eye, as we would hope to have a friend as devoted in our own lives.

Anna Bullard, as Rosalind, delivered her usual top-notch performance. Unfortunately, Rosalind, although the main character, just does not have as much angst or emotional meat to dig into. Her best speech is when she is being banished, and that is done with early on.

James Carpenter's delivery of 7 parts speech above was delicious--the frosting on the whole rest of his performance.

Seeing Adam Yazbeck as Oliver (Orlando's oppressive and abusive brother) and Craig Marker as Charles gave me the shivers. We had previously seen them as the malefactors in Kite Runner and The Foreigner respectively. It was like watching a reunion of the Brotherhood of Evil onstage, as they plotted Orlando's "accidental" death in the wrestling ring. I had trouble accepting Adam Yazbeck playing one of the background parts later in the play...he has too unique a face to blend into a mostly Euro-Caucasian crowd. Craig transformed into Silvius more easily.

Blake Ellis did a good job with Orlando, which character suffers similarly to Rosalind. The great emotional drama with his brother happens at the beginning of the play, and then tapers off into a light romantic comedy. He pulled both parts off well, but the more interesting bits with his brother were at the beginning.

Steve Irish as Touchstone was marvelous--funny, occasionally wise, and always entertaining. Sometimes just his facial reaction to the circumstances on the stage could make the scene.

Andy Murray, Jeanette Penley, Alexander Prather, and Jonathan Shue filled out the cast nicely, creating interesting and entertaining characters when they were onstage.

Other experiences:
We were surprised to learn that Opening Night has special perks: a reception after the play, and a chance to mingle with the stars. We unfortunately had limited babysitting, so we had to rush out to pick up our kids--though we did snag some cookies on the way out the door.

They are advertising "Join us after the show" for several other performances this month--allow enough babysitting time!

Another great innovation from the San Jose Rep: Pay What You Will Tuesdays--a preview of each show, with suggested ticket price of $10 each--but they will accept any amount! What a generous act, enabling everyone in Silicon Valley to enjoy quality theater, regardless of employment.

Overall Rating:
4 out of 5 stars, I recommend the play--we really enjoyed it, and the performances were excellent. I wouldn't rank this as a favorite of Shakespeare's plays, but it definitely had great parts in it.

Happy Labor Day

2009-09-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

A friend posted this to his FaceBook status, and I liked it. I thought about saving this for my little brother's birthday, but I doubt I would remember by then. Not everyone gets Labor Day off...here's to some folks that will help keep traffic moving, and be there to help us if we need it, even on a holiday.

Secret Fort in the dining room

2009-09-05T23:06:00.000-07:00

I was a bit sleep-deprived last night, because someone was snoring very loudly. After nudging 3 times to rollover, it seemed the snoring would continue in any position, so I gave up and headed downstairs to sleep on the couch at 3 in the morning.

I also went walking with a friend after a summer hiatus, and I am really out of shape. I was chanting encouragement to myself halfway up the the first hill, which was not good, since I had another hill to go before we were done.

I returned home physically and mentally tired, and faced a day of watching both boys alone as DH headed out to an all-day poker tournament at a friend's house. I desperately needed a nap, and was trying to snooze on the couch while the boys played in the afternoon. At one point, some bickering started to escalate, so I started to get up, and grumpily informed the boys that if they could not play together nicely and quietly (so I could sleep), we would all go out shoe-shopping since they need new sneakers. They both promised me up and down that they could work out whatever the issue was, and would not bother me again.

They were as good as their word, and I blissfully slept for several hours. When I awoke, I discovered they had turned our dining room into an ultra-cool fort! Teddy had draped blankets off the edge of the dining table, and weighted the edges down with the following objects:

DH's laptop computer
DH's briefcase
new card game boxes
2 dictionaries
full box of Magic cards
one of DH's law case files

Inside, Barley had furnished and decorated the space with:

wooden Korean-style table
footstool
tape measure
telescope
papers with secret codes
playing cards
folding chair to block the one entrance
floor pillow to sit on

It's a pretty cozy space for hiding out and spying from. This reminds me of a green metal table I loved as a kid. My favorite thing to do with it was drape a blanket over the whole thing and hide under it. Private space is a such a rare commodity for kids--I treasured it when I could get it.

September is a good month for birthdays

2009-09-04T10:58:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the world, Nessa!

You have joined a family that loves you from coast to coast, north to south, and you're barely even hours old!

You just missed your great-grandparents' 50th wedding anniversary, my birthday, and arrived in time to be a late present for your uncle and an early gift for your Dad. You've made my brother a "Grandpa" and I can't wait to see how that changes him!

I will see you in a month to count your fingers and toes. No doubt I will find your father wrapped around one pinkie and your mother wrapped around the other.

In the meantime, tell your parents to get some rest while they can, because you will need them to be in TOP form for the next 20 years. Welcome home!

You've probably seen this already...postscript

2009-09-03T07:00:00.000-07:00

I am mainly posting this because I can't believe it is not already on this blog! I loved this when I first saw it on Geisha School Dropout's blog. She also posted the parody that came out a little later.

I love the song that plays in the background, which is "Forever" by Chris Brown. He has written a great, upbeat song, but apparently crashed his career with domestic violence. The bride in the wedding video is writing a PhD on domestic violence prevention, and the couple have set up this website to drive donations to charity.

Interestingly, while many people have seen the video through word-of-mouth, there is some controversy about whether the "viral" spread of the video was manufactured by Chris Brown's marketing forces.

Regardless, the wedding event itself, and the original video posted are genuine. If some PR genius uploaded another copy with an improved soundtrack, I don't really mind. It is a great upbeat video, and it makes me happy every time I replay it. So I am sharing it here for anyone left who has not seen it yet. And it seems appropriate to post on what would have been my parents' 50th wedding anniversary...

The further adventures of Obi "Barn" Kenobi

2009-09-01T18:00:00.000-07:00

We used to take flashlight tours under the bridge at our favorite Big Sur campground. We would stand under the old bridge, shine our flashlights over the water, and watch the bats swoop over the surface, catching bugs.

This led to a camping tradition, wherein DH was drafted to tell the boys bedtime stories when it was time to sleep. The saga of "Barney the Bat" began. In past trips, Barney has been through many adventures, eventually wandering into an alternate dimension, where he became a Jedi and took the name "Obi Barn Kenobi."

Here is the latest episode:

Obi Barn Kenobi was sitting patiently, waiting for Yoda to finish doing his dishes after supper. Obi Barn felt something on his leg, and when he looked down, he saw a yellowjacket sitting on his ankle. He brushed it away with his hand, when he suddenly felt a sharp, intense pain, as if stabbed with a light saber! He realized he had been stung by the yellowjacket, who had flown away, and it HURT!

He tracked the "bee" to its hive, and having recently become a Jedi Master, planned to use mind control to destroy the villainous insect. He could get inside the yellowjacket's mind, and CONTROL it. Make it fly into a tree, or into a fire--anything painful that would destroy it! Obi Barn's mind was bent on REVENGE because his leg HURT, and he wanted nothing more than to HURT BACK.

When Obi Barn found the hive, there were thousands of insects swarming around it--all protecting the queen. As he approached, with his light saber drawn, 50 guard bees flew out in formation to block his progress. As a newly made Jedi Master, Obi Barn went into their minds, determined to control them.

As he went into their minds, he noticed how very teeny their minds were. No complex thought, barely room for more than one single thought at a time. Obi Barn was figuring out how to command them, when he realized all 50 of the minds had the same thought: protecting their home and their queen. Nothing else. No thoughts about stinging a big bat Jedi, or being mean, or attacking anyone who wasn't bothering them. Just protecting their family. Odd as it seemed to Obi Barn, as one single bat, to these yellowjackets all of these thousands of insects in their hive were one big family.

With a sigh, his leg still hurting from the sting, Obi Barn powered off his light saber and watched the hive for another minute. Since he was not advancing on it, the 50 guards were not moving any closer to him. Obi Barn realized he had to let go of his anger, since anger leads to the dark side. He would not give in so easily.

As you can surmise, DH pulls his plots from the day's adventures when camping. Barley got stung on the playground, and if he had possessed a light saber, there would definitely be one less yellowjacket in the world! We administered ice, ibuprofen, and uber-organized Uncle John had a special insect-bite pad and bandaid for him. Barley was so upset about the incident, he refused to go to sleep that night until all 4 of us were safe back in the tent, and NO BUGS were inside with us.

When Barley relayed the story to Teddy on the drive home the next day, it went like this:

Obi Barn got stung while waiting for Yoda to do his dishes. He tracked the bee to his hive and saw 1000s of bees. Since he was a Jedi Master, he was going to use mind control to kill them all. 50 Guard Bees got in his way, so Obi Barn decided to go home. The end.

DH was a little exasperated that Barley had missed the longer moral to the story...but in his defense, Barley had dozed off during part of it. DH was forced to retell it on the way home, so I was able to capture it for posterity here.

This trip was more of a struggle--it was VERY hot, and with no air-conditioning. I spent a couple of hours floating down the river this time. There were a TON of bugs. No bites, but inhaling wings and dust every time you breathed got tedious. The company was great though, and included one family new to camping. Food was delicious, and we all mostly enjoyed getting unplugged from city life for a while.

Home again, I count simple survival a victory this time.

Hot Topics by Email

2009-08-30T15:00:00.000-07:00

I got an email this week that gave me pause. It was from someone in our cub scout pack, urging a long list of families to call in to protest SB 572 which would create a "Harvey Milk Day" (not a "Harvey Milk Gay Day" as the email called it).

Now, I don't mean for this to become a post about Gay Rights, though I don't hide the fact that DH and I are solidly in the PRO column on that topic. I have experienced too much discrimination and prejudice in my life to distinguish the reason for it. Race, gender, religion, sexual orientation, age, weight, hair color, height, national origin, physical condition, whatever. Discrimination is never acceptable.

What got me thinking was the mixing of audiences. I myself have sent out email blasts requesting support on political issues to friends, and asked them to forward. Usually, these are really black and white, like "more money for public schools" or some such.

Then again, to some folks, homosexuality is black and white. And in scouting, which has a history of anti-gay policy, perhaps she assumed she was among like-minded folks. Maybe she was, and I am the exception. If Harvey Milk Day were to become an official holiday, with requisite discussion in public schools, I can see why some folks would be uncomfortable with that.

Not that that this potential discussion needs to be graphic. Elementary school kids can be taught that some people "love" people of the same gender. There is a LOT of harassment and outright persecution related to homosexuality that happens in schools. I remember the words that were thrown around when we were growing up. I am sure they are still being used to insult and bully kids who are "different," regardless of actual sexual orientation. Our son has seen friends (boys) singled out and ostracized for the cardinal sin of playing with a girl. So a little education on tolerance (or even *gasp* acceptance) does not seem amiss to me.

In living memory, there was a time when the idea of a Martin Luther King Jr. Day would have seemed equally appalling to some people. Once upon a time, interracial marriage was illegal in parts of this country. There is even a word for this: "miscegenation" and this was preached against in some churches as a sin against God. So, while I get that some of those who are extremely agitated about homosexuality believe they are protecting their children from some heinous lifestyle, I must disagree with their premise.

The email situation has made me uncomfortable. I like the woman who sent the thread. I believe she has good intentions, though I also believe they are misguided in this case. I am sure she would say the same of me if she read this blog. Should I just ignore the email thread? Reply All with my opinion on the matter, and brand myself as one of those "flaming Liberals." If I did that, would I just be engaging in the same act that the originator of the email had--shoving my policy in the inbox of people whom I only know marginally? I was tempted to send a pointed email reply, but I don't even know most of the people on the mail list.

When the email thread grew to 5 responses, I did reply all with a simple request to be removed from the thread. Without an explanation, people are free to assume it is due to political views, or a desire for less spam, or simple apathy.

What about Facebook? I am linked there to people from all walks of life...high school, college, family, past jobs, current social groups. The only group I intentionally exclude is people I work with right now--coworkers or customers.

I have posted, and likely will post in the future, some gay-friendly political comment in my FB status. I wonder what impact this future left wing liberal posting will have on my relationship with this woman. With such a diverse audience pool, I am bound to post something sometime that will offend somebody.

Going back a few years, this would probably have never come up, since there is little room for political discussion in that "Hey Neighbor" type of quick recognition we have on the schoolyard playground as we drop off our kids in the morning.

Then again, go back even further, say our parents' generation, and everyone in the school would probably know what church I attend, what political party I vote with, and where I shop for groceries. Social networks grow and contract, and the medium changes with each generation. The back fence and the front porch have been replaced by FB, Twitter, blogs, and email lists.

What's the old saying...never discuss religion or politics? All this social networking makes it challenging--you have to remember how wide your audience is when posting to things like blogs and FB. So, I guess mundane stuff about camping, kids, and daily life will continue to be the main content of what I post to FB. As for this blog, well, now that you know my left-leaning tendencies, you can choose to come read it (or not), so I may take more of a position on things here. Other views are welcome, but bullying or snarkiness will not be tolerated.

I'm not one to back away from a political discussion...but I will choose the time and place for it. Preferably live, so we could have real civil discourse. Email blasts to FaceBook acquaintances is not the forum I would choose.

Social Media Revolution video

2009-08-28T17:30:00.000-07:00

This is pretty impressive stuff:

The Tree Forts of Mount Madonna

2009-08-26T00:12:00.000-07:00

Our cub scout troop camped at Mt. Madonna again this summer, and I have to say, I love this park! Even though there are not the conveniences of flush toilets, or on-site general store, we still had a great time.

As soon as we step out of the car, we are walking on a carpet of leaf litter. It is soft as cotton--I can imagine how much more comfortable the ground would be for the sleeping bags. (We have air mattresses, so won't notice as much)

Our steps stir up the earthy smell of leaves and growing things from the leaf litter, as we survey the large group space to choose where to pitch our tent. We pick a relatively flat space, with little or no apparent slope to it. This will prove to be incorrect over the next 2 nights.

The campsite is a haven for kids, especially boys seeking "forts" and "hideouts" rather than the Barbie Dreamhouse my sister and I craved growing up.

This giant burned out redwood tree trunk greeted us last year. I swear it looks 2 feet shorter than last summer, but DH tells me it just seems that way because our boys have grown so much!

I am going to estimate that the trunk is 8 feet high? Definitely taller than our tallest parent, who is over 6 feet. No one fell out this year, thank goodness!

This particular tree comes with convenient hand and footholds cut into the tree, and the edges are well worn from years of use.

This is the top of another "fort" in our immediate sleeping area. This one stands only 3 feet high, more easily scaled and defended by the younger scouts.

Another tree fort--one of 4 "secret" ones in our campsite, hidden among many other trees instead of out in the open.

You can see why this place is "adventure" paradise. Capture the flag was played several times over the course of the weekend.

They also played a funny game "Zorch," which is apparently a version of Marco Polo played on land, in the DARK. I don't know how they managed not to trip over tree roots and break any limbs, but they had fun.

Last year we hiked over to the Henry Miller Estate ruins, and did some geocache exploring. This year the parents were less ambitious--we barely even left our campsite to visit the deer pen next door.

Still, DH and I were exhausted when we got home. Much of this I blame on a lack of sleep the whole weekend. Thanks to the mild slope of our campsite, and our shared "queen-size" air mattress, I was rolling into DH all night. I rotated the mattress in the morning 90 degrees, putting our heads above our feet. The next night he kept rolling into me. I wonder if we were to invest in the king-size mattress, which is actually 2 separate mattresses linked together, if that would help?

Other excitement this trip--we got through both nights with dry sleeping bags all around, despite several mad dashes for the port-o-potties nearby. One child came back in, sheepishly admitting he had not quite made it all the way. When I started to get up to get him a change of underwear, he told me not to worry about it, his pants were still dry. Yeah, think about that for a minute, you'll figure it out... I was warned not to walk to the right when I exited the tent later on.

Speaking of unwanted moisture, it rained again this year! I am pretty sure it was what the rangers call "forest condensation." The fog rolls in off the ocean, and all the moisture clings to the redwoods all around us. As the weather cools overnight, it all condenses and drips off the trees onto us--and sure does feel like RAIN, no matter what you call it! It's a lovely sound on the rainfly but not easy to fall asleep to. Since I couldn't sleep, I found myself checking the tables at 4 in the morning to put things underneath to keep dry until morning.

The good news is that having learned from our experience with this "forest condensation" phenomenon last summer, our shoes were all INSIDE the tent this time. Dry feet are happy feet!

Camping Aftermath

2009-08-25T23:00:00.000-07:00

We spent weeks planning and preparing for relatives visiting and the party for Barley's baptism. These preparations included:

Cleaning both cars inside and out (amazing what detritus accumulates in the backseat with kids aboard)
De-cobwebbing our living room's high ceiling
Having hottub serviced in the backyard, though we didn't end up using it
Cleaning patio furniture--and of course it was too hot to sit outside that weekend
Patching and repainting the holes in the wall in the hallway
Replacing ALL the burned out lightbulbs in the house--there were 5 different varieties of fluorescent bulbs!
Drafting underage labor into clearing the toyroom floor for cousins to camp out
Hanging falsely advertised wire rod for curtains in the TV room for privacy
Attempting to acquire curtains for above rod (failed)
Clearing all the horizontal surfaces in the house which were covered with papers and junk
Scheduling cleaners to do final clean and sanitize makeover on house the day before guests arrive
Stuffing anything left on the floor of the living room or TV room in a box, to be shoved in the front office or the garage, hoping like heck we'll be able to find stuff later (remote control? what remote control?)

Now, a scant week after our baptismal guests have departed, our house looks like a camping goods store upchucked all over it. (We went up to Mount Madonna County Park this last weekend with the Cub Scouts)

There are sleeping bags unrolled in the living room (to dry out); mountains of laundry in the garage; tent, rainfly and tarp set up in the backyard (where the sprinklers re-soaked them this morning); and the kitchen and dining room tables are piled high with the necessary tools of cooking and surviving in the wild....

AND we are going camping AGAIN before Labor Day! At least this second place has flush toilets, and it is less likely to rain. Did I mention our new church is also organizing a camping trip in September? We told the boys NO WAY.

Baptismal blessing

2009-08-21T18:00:00.000-07:00

So, baptism is a big topic, and I can't address it all in one post. Among the topics purposely delayed for a future posting, whenever I work out the details in my own head:

Why Baptism at all? (What do I believe would have happened if we had not?)
Do I really believe in God (short answer is YES, but the explanation is much longer)
Why Episcopal and not Catholic?
Is Christianity the only path to God?
What took so long?--he's 7 already!

To cut to the chase, Barley's baptism was the central reason for the family and friends gathering last weekend. It is also the primary source of stress and worry these last few months.

Ever since we started planning this, we've been panicked by visions of Barley throwing a tantrum in the church, or having to be wrestled to the ground to receive the chrism of oil on his forehead. One of our guests asked us if Barley was looking forward to the baptism, and our response was, "Not at all. He hates having to go to church." This was why we declined the invitation to baptize him during the Sunday service with dozens of other families in attendance.

While we totally understand the community aspect of this celebration, we did not want to have to keep the boys in good behavior for 90 minutes in front of mostly strangers (we just joined the church about 8 months ago). A private ceremony--about 45 minutes, with just our family and friends seemed like a much better recipe for success.

And so it was! Barley, my truculent boy, who hates to get his face wet, voluntarily bent his head down over the fountain to be blessed. When I saw this, I knew that miracles CAN happen! I think I may have heard music too...but maybe that was just in my head.

My brother, Barley's uncle and Godfather, was standing by, ready to put him into a headlock if he didn't go with the program. We had explained to Barley what was going to happen, and shown him the fountain--although there was no water in it at the time. Seems all the preparation did the trick.

All this worrying goes to show it is much smarter to take care of this sacrament when the child is still an infant, and unable to fight back! We had similar issues when Teddy was baptized at age 2. He scampered about the church, and played hide-and-seek under my dress through the service. Sigh. I told myself then that we would baptize the next child younger to avoid these problems, but things just did not work out that way.

There was one funny moment when my brother was asked to light the baptismal candle, since he was the tallest one of us standing there. At 5'9", he doesn't get called that very often! Before any images of the large Asian population in California come to mind, let me point out that everyone standing up there, including the priest, was Caucasian except me and the boys--heh.

Barley's friends were lined up on the other side of the fountain, watching to see it up close. It was adorable--I love seeing that wonder and curiosity in the young. Since this was a private ceremony, none of us stressed about it--they were free to witness all of it. Our priest made sure no one "baptized" Barley before he was ready.

All went well, there are no more pagans in our house. I believe there may be more paths to God and Heaven than just what the Christians offer--but this is the one I know. We all feel better about it, Barley included. The reverence with which he opened his baptismal gifts, and wore his gold cross the next day to church, showed he understood the solemnity of the occasion. I think my mother would have been pleased.

The Best Guests

2009-08-19T22:58:00.000-07:00

It has been almost a week since I posted--we have been really busy around here! I'll blog more about the weekend's activities....um...soon, I'm sure.

In the meantime, I just want to point out that I have discovered there are 2 types of guests who come to visit:

The first type are FRIENDS: lovely people who contribute to the meal; bringing salad, pasta, and gifts. Close friends who love us and remind us by their very presence why we love them so much. It was great to see them and share our big event.

The other type are...FAMILY. And apparently these also come in two types:

The GOOD Type: They bake soda bread, and scones, and share BBQ recipes involving foil, diced potatoes, and onions. They sneak into the kitchen when I am not looking and make it look clean and inviting, so the next meal is that much easier. They help with whatever task is needed, when the 8-arms I was issued as a mother are still not enough to feed the 18 people celebrating the day with us. As my brother always quipped to me growing up, "You're not a guest--you're family!" (Usually followed by, "Get it yourself, Sis!" I'm pretty sure he was just teasing...)

The OTHER Type of Family, we won't speak of, other than to pity them and the poor decisions they have made for their lives.

Fortunately, we were very blessed to have the Good Type of Family come and stay with us. It was like having my very own secret dish-washing fairies! Who knew they lived in Oregon and New York too? That blows the whole Left Coast theory my nephew keeps talking about!

Lullabyes long gone

2009-08-14T19:00:00.000-07:00

I loved this post on Notes to Self so much, I just had to steal Kyran's idea. We took the boys to Music Together classes when they were toddlers--I guess to build up that music awareness portion of the brain. I don't think anyone took me to such things when I was very small, since I definitely lack a musical brain center.

Both our boys are musical, but I can't say for certain that it was the toddler classes that did it. I suspect their musicality is innate. Teddy always enjoyed the classes, mostly sitting happily on my lap as we sang, clapped, and played together.

Barley? Well, he really enjoyed running around the outside edge of the classroom, playing with the venetian blinds, chalk, or any other loose object in the room, while I gamely sat with the other Moms. I felt kind of dopey sitting there, my lap empty, clapping and singing songs that Barley had no interest in. I could almost hear Barley thinking to himself, "Gee, I have to entertain myself while Mommy is at her music class--I hope it is done soon!".

We did enjoy the tapes from the class, playing them in the car. DH said the melodies were good, and he could hear the boys matching pitch and tone from the back seat. One of the songs became the lullaby he sang the boys when they werebabies--"my love and I" having been replaced with "my child and I".

Inspired by Kyran's blog posting, I went in search of a YouTube version to hold us over, until I can pin DH into recording one for posterity. (Given his history of public singing at emotional family events, I suspect he may resist...)

The Water is Wide, I cannot cross o'er it
Neither have I wings to fly
Give me a boat that can carry two
And we shall row, my child and I...

The List

2009-08-12T21:00:00.000-07:00

I have been reading the Happiness Project Blog, and I am excited that it might be possible to learn to be happy. I am at a point in my life where this may well be as good as it gets, and if I am not able to be happy now, there are not going to be any major life changes that will make it any easier.

My striving personality will always get in the way somewhat, as I wrote about previously. But I have accomplished so much of what I wanted in my life, I had better start enjoying it--RIGHT NOW! (Another aspect of my personality--impatience!)

I have a list I wrote when I was sitting alone in a hotel room years ago. I was frustrated with my job, not sure I was in the right career, and not certain what to do with my life. I had been out of college about 5 years, and I was trying to decide what I really wanted.

I have saved this list for the last 15 years, reviewing it occasionally. There are remarkably few edits in all that time, so I've been pretty consistent about what elements I believe make a "good life". Here is the list:

GOOD LIFE:

Husband
Children
Family near (crossed out 3 years ago, when we lost the last of our boys' grandparents)
Friends near
Time to quilt
Time to write friends (changed to email, would now add FB)
$ to travel
Work that challenges me without stress (stress replaced with "going against my values" after a bad stretch at a start-up)
Work that ends after 40 hours
Good people to work with

Additions made 4 years later:

Time for violin, exercise, poetry
Time to write (yay, this blog counts!)

This tattered list is what I contemplated when I quit my job 2 years ago. I used it to explain to my boss, my VP, and the HR director the reason why I was leaving even though I didn't have another job lined up. The requirements on it were part of the negotiation with my VP when he asked me to consider staying in another role.

I am truly blessed to say that I have most of the things on this list. Not enough time for every single one of them, but to even mention which ones at this point would be nit-picking. And I am not saying that my life is perfect--not at all. I have my frustrations and our family has some major challenges to overcome. We live in the same economy as everyone else right now, and of course, there is never enough money or time or energy to do or have everything I would like.

Nonetheless, my glass is really 9/10 full--and I am going to learn to celebrate that.

You just know that is going in the blog....

2009-08-11T22:58:00.000-07:00

So, Barley had to change into soccer clothes today, and when he stripped to put on his soccer shorts, we noticed he was wearing his older brother's underwear. Mischievous Barley just grinned when we pointed this out to him.

DH teased Barley, asking, "Are you going to start wearing MY underwear next, young man?!"

Barley gleefully proclaimed, "Nope! I'm going to start wearing MOM's underwear next--THEN yours!"

After we stopped guffawing, DH just looked at me and grinned, "Blog, right?" You betcha! I couldn't BUY material this funny!

Poor Barley, he's going to need therapy after he grows up and reads that I posted about this. Or when his brother reads it and teases him about it!

Matchmaking by Height

2009-08-10T18:00:00.000-07:00

So, this post has a minor spoiler from the Julie and Julia movie, so if you hate Spoilers, please check out this funny blog instead, and check back here next week, when this posting will have rolled off the page...

There is a cute scene in the movie where the 6'2" Julia Child and her husband try to set up her even taller sister with a very tall friend at a dinner party. The tall man arrives, only to find Julia's sister hunched over and talking quite intimately with a very short man...whom she ends up marrying.

This reminded me of a hilarious incident of matchmaking by height that happened to me when I lived in America's heartland. I haven't thought of this story in years, so I can't have bored anyone with this recently.

A male coworker came into the little conference room where I, my supervisor, and a temp had set up for a months-long project we were all working on. My coworker--let's call him George, started quizzing me on my personal life...

George: So, Jo, I'd really like to introduce you to my cousin sometime. He's a really nice guy, I think you'd like him...and he has trouble finding dates because he's really short. But so are you...you'd be great together! You don't have a boyfriend or anything, do you?

Me: Well, actually, I do have a boyfriend.

George: (surprised!) Really??! But you only just moved here a couple of months ago, right? How did you find a boyfriend so fast? It can't be very serious...

Me: Um, well, actually, he moved here to be with me when I got this job...

George: Well (dismissively), what kind of a guy follows his girlfriend to another town...what is he, some kind of loser?

At this point, I am getting really uncomfortable--you and George will both learn why in a second. I am trying to stammer out some kind of reply to get George to back off without offending him, when my supervisor, Anna interrupts. She has been sitting in the room for all of this--as has the Temp, and she bursts out laughing. When she catches her breath, she introduces George to our Temp:

Anna: George--you should really meet our Temp--this is DH. DH, say Hi to George! George, DH is Jo's boyfriend--I thought you might like to know!

DH turned and waved at George, wearing a sheepish smile on his face.

George turned BRIGHT red, closed his mouth, and turned and left the room without saying a single word. For the next year, he would turn and walk in the other direction when he saw me coming. Poor man--how embarrassed he must have been!

We had gone through several temps on this project, and since DH was looking for a job after having moved to be with me, we decided to bring him in to help out. Either he would also find a job within weeks, or we would have a temp who stayed longer--a win for me in either case.

One coworker commented that it was nice that we had hired a temp that I could carpool with. DH and I were careful not to let on at the office that we were dating. After we got married and I brought him to the office Christmas party, people assumed we had met AT the job, and seemed to think it was cute. Only my supervisor, Anna knew the facts...oh, and George too, of course, but I am pretty sure he didn't tell anyone.

Frustrated Foodie

2009-08-08T23:10:00.001-07:00

Work has been attempting to eat my life, so I decided to claim some time back for myself with a couple of girlfriends. We saw Julie and Julia, and we all really enjoyed it. The basic premise comes from a blog written by Julie Powell, who spent a year cooking her way through ALL the recipes in Julia Child's famous book.

I am a total foodie, eternally frustrated by my lack of cooking skills. Like Julia, I love to eat, but I do not have her ambition in the kitchen. I would happily work harder at the office, where I am competent, to afford to eat in good restaurants and have other people do the cooking.

I did spend about 4 months seriously trying to learn to cook better. I wasn't working my way through Julia, they were just your basic Betty Crocker recipes, or Rachel Ray, or things that looked promising from the food section of the newspaper or magazines. If I started early on a weekend, I could put something new and tasty on the table by dinnertime...only to have Barley turn his nose up at it and refuse to eat. Or he would charm us all with lovely retching noises, or his gagging reflex would kick in as soon as he smelled the new food. And sometimes, even intrepid Teddy, who would try anything, would admit he didn't like it either.

Mostly DH and Teddy were appreciative, but doing all that work for the risk of 25 to 50% of my audience refusing to eat was just too discouraging an experience. Even DH is not the most adventuresome diner. He is famous in his family for refusing to eat anything but white rice during a family trip to San Francisco's Chinatown--and asking the waiter for some butter to put on it.

He's come a long way since then--Thank Goodness!--but when you consider he married a Korean woman who loves kimchee and dried seaweed...you can see the inherent food conflicts at our dinner table.

I love to blame DH for Barley's pickiness, but I do recall a few times as a child myself, aggravating my mother by refusing to eat the dinner she had prepared that night. Then again, Mom was not cooking any of Julia Child's recipes--that's for sure! Whatever was for dinner, it was the job of us kids to "pick a vegetable" from the pantry--whatever CAN we wanted! Cooking fresh broccoli in our house meant boiling it until it started dissolving in the pot...NO SURPRISE I refused to eat it!

Both my brothers had the wisdom to marry GREAT cooks. I always ate very well when we went over to their houses--despite my mother complaining what a picky eater I was.

My brother has actually learned a few tricks in the kitchen himself. So, my own reputation is on the line this coming weekend--as I must prove to my brother that his little sister really can put edible food on the table--despite my upbringing! Wish me luck, folks!

Blessed be the peacemakers...

2009-08-05T22:14:00.000-07:00

The week started out pretty rough around here. After weeks of math, karate, science and art camps--all separately--the boys had their first day at summer camp together on Monday. It's not as though they have not seen each other all summer--there was no sleep away time, so they had afternoons, evenings, and weekends.

But these boys mix like oil and water sometimes. Repeatedly, in different childcare settings, we have had to take pains to arrange separation for them. They are both high-energy kids, and while Barley is the more stubborn and more aggressive of the two--Teddy gets his licks in and digs in his heels also.

Apparently on Monday, they both forgot how to be nice to each other. From the report DH got, they were fighting like cats and dogs from the minute they were dropped off, to the end of the day when they got picked up. The camp is not a large one--maybe a dozen children? So everyone tends to stay together as a group. And since both boys gravitate toward the same games and same playmates, there was plenty of opportunity for escalation and high emotion. Of course, both children could recite acts of aggression and escalation by the other. We heard that Barley did try to use his words, but when he still didn't get what he wanted, he resorted to physicality, as is his habit.

The end of the day found Teddy indoors, hiding and crying, and Barley outside, angry and also upset at the breakdown in their relationship. They were best enemies, not best friends.

I have a crazy busy work week, so I didn't hear any of this until I opened the office door and exited my cave of concentration to an eerily quiet house. The boys had each retreated to separate floors, and DH was making dinner. TV and video games had been temporarily banned, and we were waiting for the tides of emotion to ebb enough to have a calm discussion.

The boys had already been notified that their video game privileges would be suspended the next day. Barley pointed out that the only time they weren't fighting that day was when they had the video games, so that was only going to make it harder for them to get along! We would have to see.

Barley surprised us all by being the first to approach his brother, and apologize--UNPROMPTED . Although he had been angry at their last conflict, he did also feel terrible about the fact that they had not gotten along all day. This act of contrition on his part made me VERY hopeful that all the hard work we are doing with anger management may just be having some tiny effect after all.

This scene on the stairway banister made me even more hopeful. After Barley's apology, he suggested this as an activity for them both to work on. Teddy agreed, and this tableau was lined up before dinner was even on the table. It is still there 2 days later.

After dinner that night, we had a quiet evening--still no TV or video games. Barley was waiting impatiently for a comic book he had been reading, but which Teddy had picked up when Barley put it down. We sensed another volcanic eruption on the way, and encouraged Barley to go find another book to read while he was waiting.

Once in the other room, he got distracted by the piano instead. He started experimenting, and calling to us to listen to the songs he made up. I sent DH in with music paper to memorialize the music Barley was creating. This distracted him from being ticked off at his brother, and the rest of the night went peacefully.

Bedtime was pretty subdued. Since Teddy is getting over being sick, I think maybe that contributed to his inability to get along with his brother at summer camp that day.

After they went to bed, I pulled out some presents I had bought the boys for back to school. It is a few weeks early, but I wanted to give them something to help create some space away from each other the next day. Without their video games to escape into, I worried they would just have another day of conflict and upset.

Teddy loves to write stories, so I had gotten him this cool dragon-covered journal. He's been writing in composition notebooks, but he keeps losing them around the house. I am hoping he will keep better track of this one.

Barley loves to draw dragons and other pictures, so his larger book is full of high quality art paper. The pages are perforated, so he can take them out to share, or keep them organized in the book.

I was not there when they were presented in the morning. DH reported that Teddy's eyes lit up, and he was on board instantly! Barley was disappointed that it wasn't a video game, but allowed himself to be sold on the quality of the paper and the larger pages to draw on. They were encouraged to "escape" into writing or drawing if they started arguing again at camp.

I worried about them all day yesterday, and asked for a report when I got home Tuesday night. I was shown this by the boys in response to my question about how the day had gone.
The boys decided to collaborate on a story. Teddy wrote chapter 1, and Barley illustrated it. Instead of using these new books as a way to escape each other, they used them to spend constructive, creative time together.

I L*O*V*E THESE BOYS! They are TOTALLY AWESOME.

Especially when they remember how much they love each other.

Boy, is DH going to love this!

2009-08-03T21:41:00.000-07:00

So, I am totally slammed at work, and too tired to think straight...so it must be time to write a new post! Heh, I can procrastinate with the best of 'em--just ask my boss, or any of my college professors!

I am obsessing about a blog I discovered last week while contemplating the Constantly Seeking post I wrote. Seeking happiness is one of my life goals, and I pride myself on being intelligent and well-read. I have read a lot of tips, ideas, and methods for being happier, and on a night when I don't feel such grinding weight from work deadlines, I will expound further on what I have learned, and not learned yet.

So, this new blog: The Happiness Project, is being written by a woman on a mission to discover the true secret of happiness. And I am totally hooked. If it is true that at times we can choose to be happy, then learning to be happy is a skill well worth investing my time in. This blog has a lot of useful information on it.

I am reading the old postings in a random, haphazard fashion right now. Eventually, I will read them all, I imagine, being OCD at times (I hear you snickering out there!). One posting that caught my eye today was this one on counter intuitive strategies. These are things we may think would actually lead to us being less happy, when in fact, they increase our happiness. Huh.

The one that jumped out at me was #9. Stop nagging. Now, I've been doing this for the last month, and I have to admit, I am a bit happier. Mostly, I stopped because I was just too busy/tired, and it took more energy to remind DH yet again to clear the lint from the dryer when switching laundry, than to do it myself. So when I pull what looks like a blue rabbit pelt from the lint trap, I've just been throwing it out, and thanking him for DOING the laundry in the first place.

I don't nag because it's fun, or it makes me happy. When I do it, I think I am educating, or reinforcing previous discussions. It seems from what Gretchen is saying, that nagging really only serves to make ME unhappier. Oh, yeah, I guess it's not helping DH's happiness meter either.

So, I think I'll try to continue with #9, and pick up some of the other tips in her blog. What have I got to lose, other than some dryer lint?

Race to the urinal...

2009-08-02T23:00:00.000-07:00

I am still mulling over this whole happiness thread. Will post on this topic this coming week. In the meantime, here is a lighter post to bring a chuckle...

One of the benefits of having boys--once done with potty training, I am now forever excused from bathroom duty. Phew!

So, what really goes on in there... I don't think I want to know.

Except DH told me that Barley, our 7-year old, loves to RACE his father to the bathroom when we go to the movies. By beating him there, he gets to pick which urinal he uses. Who knew these things came at different heights? (This was a stock photo found online--I did not follow them in to take this picture!)

Barley makes a bee-line (or would that be a p....oh never mind!) for the adult height one. He can just barely clear it with his, umm, "equipment" shall we say? Leaving DH to use the child-height urinal. Not only does DH have to aim at a target that is further away than normal, he also must endure the unearthly CACKLING of the boy next to him who made his Dad use the kid version.

You fathers of daughters out there are missing out on some prime bonding time here!

Great post on the impact of Twitter, Facebook on writing

2009-07-31T22:25:00.000-07:00

Hi All,

In lieu of an actual post today, I am recommending my friend Jeff Powell's post on why he doesn't tweet: http://www.bangtherockstogether.com/blog/2009/07/no-i-dont-tweet.html

For me, the jury is still out on whether this would improve my life or not. But yeah, me staying within 140 characters? I'd have to send out 10 Tweets at a time to finish a thought...

Constantly seeking

2009-07-30T22:30:00.000-07:00

So, my friend Mir's blog posting today was about making the choice to be happy. I've heard this kind of thing before, and it is true enough. Not necessarily for people who are facing an actual crisis in their lives--then the choice to be happy may really be elusive, and they can only hang on until better days come. For a large portion of us, the economy is really threatening our well-being. For those who are involuntarily unemployed, times are tough--I don't mean to minimize that.

But how about the other 80% of us?

For many of us, most of the time, life here in America is pretty good. Sure, the job, family, kids, TV season may not be perfect. But we have shelter, we have paychecks, healthy families, do not live in a war zone, and are not at risk of starving if our crops don't come in. It really can be a choice to be happy--these words are true.

They are not easy to follow, though. I am a seeker (no, not the quidditch type, you geeks!)–constantly striving to improve all aspects of my life. I wish my house was cleaner and better organized. My kids could be working harder at school, or participating in more horizon-expanding activities. I could do a better job at work (there is ALWAYS more work to do), or I could try for that next promotion. My marriage, like most, could use more couple time. I should write more poetry, finish that quilt, knit more socks for charity, learn new skills for work and life. I could figure out what Twitter is all about.

I blame/credit much of this outlook on my mother. She was never one to praise her children. I would overhear her brag to her friends on the phone about my report card or a scholarship--but never to me. A report card with all A's would get a somewhat dismissive, "That's nice", and nothing more. No rewards, no ice cream treat, not even a big hug and "Congratulations". The good grades were just expected.

All that hard work does pay off…things are pretty good here. I have a great job, with flexible hours and the ability to do much of my work from home. We own our house. Our family is healthy. We have close friends. I live a pretty darn good life.

So, why am I not happy all the time?

I'm not UNhappy, at least. But all this constant striving and seeking to improve, means I never take time to APPRECIATE. And happiness has to start there.

When I am in a funk, it helps when I take time to count my blessings every day. I don't do this all the time, but when I do, it makes me remember to be grateful for what I do have. More focus on what is good in life, and less on what could still be improved.

My husband also reminds me to take time and appreciate. We are opposites in our life approach. He is more hedonistic, less driven than I am. "Good enough" is more his motto, where mine is "Always room to improve". While we have worked through a lot of the early marital conflict between my drive/ambition, and his more sedate acceptance of things as they are, I believe we have been good for each other. My nagging/motivating has helped him accomplish more than he might have on his own. And he always encourages me to take a break, sit down, enjoy what we have right now. Because it's true--it really IS "good enough".

How's that for a Love Thursday of my own?

Thermal cooker and camping, mmm mmm good!

2009-07-29T20:50:00.000-07:00

So, the test run of the thermal cooker went very well. I've blogged about my beloved thermal cooker before, and am very pleased to have finally been able to test it in the wild, so to speak.

We packed on Friday morning, and I got beef stew ready to go in the inner cooking pot. Bring to boil, continue heating for 10 more minutes to heat all the way through. I didn't measure the water this time, just filled the pot 2/3 full. That would prove to be a minor error.

After 10 minutes (OK, 12 actually), the inner pot goes into the outer thermal sleeve. I was done with that by lunchtime.

We packed the car, and headed south to our campsite. We were providing dinner for ourselves and another family, so the beef stew cooking away in the car as we drove was working nicely. We got stuck in some bad traffic, and arrived at dinner time, instead of an hour early so we could set up camp as I had hoped.
Fortunately, the thermal pot allowed us to pull it out of the car, set it on the table, and notify our friends that "dinner is ready" pretty much as soon as we had parked. Not needing electricity for the bulk of the cooking time was a great advantage! The beef stew came out a bit soupy, but it tasted great--we all had seconds!

After washing out the pot, I used it again the next day to make jambalaya (Zatarain's boxed) for the group potluck. It kept the food nice and warm, and I only had to babysit it for 15 minutes. Crockpot cooking unplugged. How conveeeenient!

A river runs through it...

2009-07-28T22:12:00.000-07:00

One of the most popular features of our summer campsite is the river that runs along one side of the campground. (Barley is on the right in this picture) There are innumerable activities to while away the hours, including:

* hunting crawdads (the boys caught and released over a dozen)
* rafting through the "run" created when rocks are piled along the side of this channel to speed the flow
* racing sticks through the channel
* building up the dam by moving rocks
* throwing pebbles into the water
* building rock cairns
* splashing each other
* skipping stones
* standing on the rock wall, or walking across it
* trying to talk your mom into stepping back into the ice-cold water for any reason you can make up

We saw something new this trip, though. This cool dude was "river surfing". Now, look back at the picture of the kids above. The river is NOT deep. It only goes as high as Barley's knee--about mid-calf on me. In fact, whenever I do get talked into innertubing down that channel, my butt tends to scrape bottom and get bruised on big rocks along the way. Funny the lighter, more buoyant kiddies never seem to have that problem.

Anyway, we were treated to this man's river-surfing practice, as he positioned his board perpendicular to the shore in the shallow river, and then he would back up a few yards, and take a running leap onto the board. Landing on it in a standing position, he would glide across the river, leaving a rippling wake behind him. It was fun to watch! And he was so nice to pose for me too!

Barley the Pragmatist and folklore

2009-07-27T22:30:00.000-07:00

Every camping trip must include a campfire. We had one each night, featuring stories, drinks, and recycled cub scout skits. This is where we can really see the personalities of the children of this playgroup. Having watched them play together since they were babies, we are all enjoying the evolution as we see them hit the tween years now. Some of the kids jostle to get in the limelight, and others will let themselves be dragged in reluctantly. I don't think we have any who have refused outright. We're a friendly group, and have been camping together for 6 summers now.

Our friend Dan, one parent who never shies away from the limelight when it comes to amusingly corny campfire tales, told the kids a story about how Bear lost his tail. The short version (not nearly as funny as Dan delivered it with facial expressions, and flourishes of his bum) involves jealous Fox tricking Bear into sticking his long luxurious tail into a hole for ice fishing overnight. Once it is frozen good and solid, Fox startles Bear into yanking his tail up quickly to catch a fish, and it snaps off! (ow!) It was cute to watch the children who could see the end coming, as they yelled (or whispered), No, don't put your tail in the hole, Bear!

At the very end, Barley announced, "But that was only ONE bear--not all of them!" Barley has trouble with suspension of disbelief. He refused to accept the idea that this was a myth, and part of me expected to hear him discourse on Darwin's theory of evolution vs. Lamarck's theory of evolution by acquired characteristics. If they taught this stuff in second grade, I'm sure he would have!

Of course, once he was safely tucked in his sleeping bag and out of earshot, I had to tell all the other families about the Dream Catcher story.

Nothing like...

2009-07-26T19:55:00.001-07:00

waking up in the middle of the night needing to pee, only to realize that instead of being in your home where the bathroom is just a few carpeted steps away...you are in the middle of the woods in a sleeping bag. You must now (hardest part) heave yourself off the air mattress without dislodging your spouse, pull on jeans, shove your feet into cold shoes, fumble your way to the opening of the tent, unzip and then rezip the opening, and guided only by your flashlight and the crunch of gravel, find the loo.

The good news? We're at a family campground that caters to mamby-pamby city folk like me & DH, so the bathroom is a real one with flush toilets, electric lights, and a sink stocked with liquid soap.

That moment of panic when I first woke up granted me instant empathy for my 7-year old when he had to wake me up in the middle of the night.

--------------------------------------------------------------------
DH has a slightly different perspective on things. His blog (if he wrote one) would say:

Nothing like being woken by an elbow smashing into your face, followed by "Honey, Barley has to go the bathroom--you need to get up to take him!" Followed by all steps listed by wife in her blog, getting up from floor (not easy for me either), pull on jeans, blah, blah, blah...only to realize after the deed is done and we are back, that is is already daylight, and hey, he knows where the dang bathroom is, why did I have to get up anyway?....grumble, grumble, get back in bed and snore some more.
---------------------------------------------------------------------

In my defense, I can offer only the following 3 statements:

The elbow in his face was completely accidental
Having sons means being excused from bathroom runs once toilet training is done
I don't think clearly at 5 in the morning

Will blog more later. Too dang tired tonight.

She's alive and well...

2009-07-23T20:53:00.000-07:00

Capping off my week of bonding with friends both near and far, I met with an OLD friend from high school. She was out on a business trip, and we'd been trying to find a time we were both available this week for dinner, coffee, whatever. We managed to agree on breakfast this morning, and had a lovely time catching up on major events in each other's lives. She's had a few more catastrophes this last year than I have, but there have been some silver linings to all the changes.

It was good to see her, hug her, hear in her own words that life is moving along the way it does, regardless of our opinion on the matter. I wish we lived closer, and that old history had not whittled away our relationship back when we graduated. She's a beautiful person, and brilliant writer. And she laughs at all my jokes--what more can you ask for in a friend?

She's my antithesis--maybe that is why I like her so much. Unlike me, she is quiet and reserved. She writes more poetry* than I do, I suspect in part because she actually sits still long enough to hear thoughts form. Like watching birds in nature, you see the most if you can be tranquil, so they forget you are there.

I am more like my 7-year old, who shouts to everyone in the house, "There's a bird in the birdbath!" so loudly, that the bird flies away before anyone else can see. So it goes with any poetry that might light on the edges of my mind. Wry comments and observations on the nature of boys are less easily perturbed. They hang out waiting to be blogged, and come back again and again.

---------------------
*(Actually, you can read her poetry online through this link. This is another internet reunion story--I found her on Google because of this page. There is a link to a recording of her reading a poem out loud. What a miracle it was when I found this page, and heard her voice online more than a decade after we had last parted ways.)

I am hoarse, how about you?

2009-07-22T22:43:00.001-07:00

I had a great evening tonight hooking up with work friends from years ago. We're not going to tabulate the exact number of years, but there are 11 year-olds among our progeny whose parents weren't even married yet by the time we stopped working together. Not that we're getting older...just the kids are!

We had fun remembering the excitement of our past lives together, and enjoyed the relief of knowing those adrenalin-inducing projects and deadlines were in the past. What a pleasure to see how people are growing and changing. The most exciting news was that our chief reunion organizer is moving to India. That's going to make next year's reunion really hard to plan! We missed friends who were not able to join us, but we shared what insights we had on what they were up to these days.

Facebook was a big topic of discussion. Some of us are loving it, some are mystified, some are leery, and one is quitting cold turkey. I am one of the proponents, but I have to admit I have not figured out what role it should have in my life. There is a huge time sink potential that we all try to manage.

This is a big week of reconnecting for me! Last night, my sewing group assembled with all six local members showing up--this only happens a few times a year when the stars align properly. Tomorrow, I get to meet an even older friend from high school days.

I love re-connecting with people I care about, and just wish we all lived together in one big commune. A short walk and a borrowed cup of sugar away, so we could share all the details of each other's lives. I've never been into watching soap operas on TV, but somehow, I do enjoy the inane trivia we are all sharing on Facebook. I guess that is the attraction for me...the virtual neighborhood we are creating. Howdy, neighbors!

The rest of the ski trip story

2009-07-21T23:11:00.001-07:00

So, I hinted that I would tell the rest of the ski trip story in my dreamcatcher post last week. A whole lot of work is marching across my desk this summer, and various personal events which I refuse to give up (seeing an old friend, work reunion, camping trip this weekend) are conspiring to keep me so busy and tired I am having trouble putting sentences together coherently. So, before I even start writing, you've already heard the excuses!

This trip, about 3 years ago, started out with me stoically deciding to take the boys on the 6 hour trip to Tahoe alone, after DH had come down with the flu. Our California boys only get to see snow once a year, so I didn't want to disappoint them. Besides, we were going with 2 other families, and the boys would be in ski lessons most of the day. All I really had to do was hang out in the overcrowded restaurant area* waiting for them to get done, then take the tuckered out boys back to the hotel for hot chocolates and warm snuggles.

*BTW, I always thought ski lodges were these big carpeted spaces with soft armchairs and warm glowing fires, where the non-skiers waited snugly (and smugly) for their companions to return.... Boy, was that a disappointment my first time in Tahoe! Instead, the non-skiers hang out in uncomfortable plastic stacking chairs, in spaces just barely big enough for people to squeeze between the tables--and everyone is decked out in ski jackets that double their volume.

As mentioned in the previous post, after enduring the stress of caravaning through hours of ski weekend traffic, we finally arrived, only to discover that Teddy also had the flu. My dreamcatcher post chronicles the trials of the first night.

The quandary...we've just driven 6 hours across the whole state of California, and Barley (age 4) is eager to take his first ski lessons ever! Teddy (age 7) is sick, with a fever. Do I throw them both in the car in the morning and head home, or try to stick it out somehow? Sticking it out means getting Barley dressed for snow and ready by 7:00am, since the kids ski lessons may sell out.

Somehow, I manage to get both boys ready in the morning, giving Teddy a good dose of children's Advil. He hates the flavor, but I have not been able to buy any yet, and this was all our friends had packed. At least they remembered to pack medicine--and a thermometer! (Yeah, they are travelling pros--unlike DH and me, who look like Keystone Cops when packing for a trip....note to self, find updated expression to replace "Keystone Cops"...)

We get up the mountain, and stand in line for 20 minutes to sign Barley up for the day and pay our fees. I tell Teddy to stay in a corner away from other people, and cover his mouth with a scarf to limit the infection zone. Once Barley is off my hands, I take Teddy to a little tiny bunny hill, and give him a sled ride in the snow. I pull him up, and ride down with him, so he needs to exert no more energy than just sitting up straight for a minute.

Even so, after 2 or 3 trips down the "hill" he tells me he is tired, and wants to go back to the hotel room. I understand his need. Problem is, the ski lesson contract I just signed for Barley stipulates that a parent must stay on the premises during the entire length of the day...hence my previous stays in the overcrowded cafeteria space. If the child misbehaves, gets sick, or starts crying and can't be calmed, they put a note up on a parent notice board, and I need to be there to go get him. What to do...what to do?

Looking for something that can help entertain Teddy for another 4 hours, without overtaxing him, my eyes light upon...the parking lot tram! It is an open air vehicle that picks up from the various snow-covered parking lots and delivers you to the ski lodge. A lot like the trams at Disney world, except colder and with thick ridged snow tires and a plow in front. I persuade Teddy to go on this "fun ride" with me, and the two of us huddle in our ski jackets, as we ride through one parking lot, then another, then another, in a huge circle. The soft swaying of the vehicle is somewhat relaxing, and we are going so slow that the frequent stops and starts are not jarring.

After 3 trips around all the parking lots, the driver finally notices that we have not gotten off, and asks if we know what lot we are parked in? I just smile and wave, and say, no, we're good--just enjoying the ride! The 20-something young man shrugs his shoulders at the crazy tourists and keeps driving.

When Teddy has finally had enough (30 minutes), we walked to the car, where he was able to lean his car seat back and take a nap. I called our friends who were also there, and asked if they could watch for Barley's name and pick him up if anything happened. Their daughter was in the same ski lessons for the day. I had managed to kill about an hour, and my bag of tricks was empty.

Teddy and I drove the 40 minutes back to the hotel, and when Barley was dropped off later, exuberant from his first ski lesson, I poured hot cocoa and we all settled down to see what brain-numbing cartoons were on TV. The next morning we skipped the caravan with our friends, ate fast food and made only potty breaks for the return trip. Thankfully, neither Barley nor I got sick that weekend. DH was feeling better after a few days rest in a quiet house, so I was able to hand off as soon as I pulled in at home. Thank goodness there are 2 of us.

I would love to Friend Hillary...

2009-07-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

In lieu of a real post, one of the blogs I read (Tech for Luddites, on right side) shared this link to PCWorld. They've created fake FaceBook pages for famous people, like Hillary Clinton, Shakespeare, etc. Click on the picture to get to the full page. I thought they were very funny!

Last Obon post until next summer

2009-07-15T18:15:00.000-07:00

So, here is my digital scrapbook page of our day at Obon Festival.

We got there just in time to watch and hear the San Jose Taiko Drum Club, but not in time to get a seat in FRONT. So, here are their backs. They were WAY COOL with their traditional mix of martial arts and musicianship.

Of course, my favorite part is watching the dancing and drooling over all the gorgeous KIMONO! This young lady had an especially ornate OBI bow. Unfortunately, I can't remember if she was an adult or a tween. I think tween. The depressing part is knowing that I am old enough that I can get away with calling someone who might well have been an adult in her 20's a "young lady".

This group dances in the same matching kimono every year. It looks cool, and I think they must be a family that dances together. I get a little bored when 20 of them troop by though. They dance very well, but couldn't they dance on the inside so I can see the other kimono and yukata better?

I have seen this gentleman dance for several years now. He is graceful, and knows the steps well, so he clearly attends the practice sessions held the month before.

I always wondered what his Japan connection was. An interest in art? History? Had he studied in Japan as an exchange student, or served there on a military tour? I still don't really know where it all started for him.

After catching this candid picture, though, I think I know what keeps him coming back to Obon. I hope my marriage is as sweet as this when I get to be their age.

Being Korean, I may not know everything about Japanese traditional kimono and yukata. But I don't think this is it. Interesting, though!

This little guy was swaying rhythmically to the music, but something tells me he won't remember much of this in the morning.

Barley the Pragmatist

2009-07-14T21:22:00.000-07:00

Barley is a classic "S" for Sensing on the Myers-Briggs personality tests. His love of mathematics is reflective of his "facts" and "figures" orientation toward the world. His older brother, Teddy, is all passion and enthusiasm--a fun-loving kid who uses his seemingly limitless energy to get the most joy out of life. Show him a fun flashy commercial for a new toy, and Teddy is all over it, wanting whatever the next cool thing is.

Barley can watch the same commercial, and come away saying hmmm, that doesn't make sense. How does that work?

Tonight, at bedtime, Barley was distressed about several nights of bad dreams. It has been ridiculously hot around here, and is supposed to top 100 tomorrow, so it's been difficult to sleep at night. Their room is the hottest in the house, and we have 3 fans on, trying to cool the room to be habitable.
In an effort to ease his worry about having a bad dream, I took Barley's dreamcatcher from the wall above his bed, blew the dust off it, and turned it around. I also removed the soccer medal hanging off of it. Good as new, no more bad dreams! This is a strategy that has worked with his older brother for YEARS. Whenever plagued by bad dreams, repositioning, etc. always did the trick. For those not familiar with the dreamcatcher story, here is a link.

We even had one hilarious (in hindsight) trip to Tahoe, where I was alone with the boys (DH was sick at home). We arrived to discover Teddy had a fever of his own, and we had left the dreamcatcher at home. I was rummaging through the hotel kitchenette, trying to persuade a feverish Teddy that a round metal colander was "just as good as" a real dreamcatcher--honest! Uh-huh. Teddy wasn't buying either. I was really desperate that night. I kept digging through the rest of the kitchen tools looking for anything vaguely promising, vaguely round, when Teddy decided the square metal cheese grater would work. I guess the sharp edges of the holes looked like they could shred some bad dreams into tiny little bits--perfect for your salad the next day!

That worked, and peace reigned...for about 10 minutes. His brother Barley, who did not feel sick at all, and had lots of energy to burn off after the 5 hour drive, was running around the hotel room like a maniac. He bounced against Teddy's bed and knocked the cheese grater cum dreamcatcher off the bedpost onto the ground. A great WAILING ensued, and a long, sleepless night for me.

Actually, there was more hilarity (in hindsight) the next day. I'll blog about that tomorrow maybe.

So, back to today's tale. Barley wondered out loud how this whole dreamcatcher concept can even work. Barley is 7. His 10-year old brother, sat up and politely explained that the good dreams are usually short, so they are smaller, and can fit through the holes of the dreamcatcher. The bad dreams, which are bigger, get caught in the netting.

Barley's response? "How do the dreams get OUT there? I mean, they're just in my head, aren't they? Dreams are in my brain, they are just like THINKING, so how can a dreamcatcher hanging on the WALL do anything to bad dreams?"

Biting my tongue hard, I tried to let Teddy handle it alone, but one glance at his face, and I knew he was outgunned by Barley's logic. I tried to say, "Well, maybe the dreams start in your head and they come out and get caught. Or maybe they start somewhere else and come into your brain..."OK, it sounded lame even to me. I tried a more surefure tactic, "JUST GO TO SLEEP, IT'S BEDTIME NOW."

I think Santa is in deep ... snow come Christmastime.

Cooling Sushi Rice

2009-07-12T12:59:00.000-07:00

So, I've been volunteering to help with cooling the sushi rice for the Obon Festival for a few years now. I've been adopted by my best friend's family as the "4th Sister" and get included in family events like Sunday hikes, and the family reunion picnic in May. It seems only fair that I join in the more mundane activities as well.

The rice is cooked in huge quantities, and seasoned in the kitchen. Then it is brought out to the cooling tables, where it is spread out on netting, over wire racks, with fans blowing on either side of the table. The job of the volunteers is to spread out the huge mass of cooked rice, so that it cools as quickly as possible. We break up big clumps, but gently so as not to smash the individual grains, which would just turn them into rice paste goo.

For about 10-15 minutes, we keep turning the rice over, so it does not stick to the netting. Once it is totally cooled, it gets added to a huge mound of cooled sushi rice on 2 long tables, and covered with damp cloths. If any of the rice is not completely cooled, it will mold overnight, ruining the entire pile. This happened one time a few years ago, and all the rice had to be thrown away, wasting the efforts of all the volunteers the night before.

This huge pile of rice(photo) rests overnight, until the ladies who make the actual sushi, come in at 5:00am. They roll the sushi to sell at the festival that day. This is a fundraiser for the San Jose Buddhist Church's women's group and elder group. Actually, the entire festival is a fundraiser, of course, with every church group involved in different activities. There are girl scouts, boy scouts, the basketball team, taiko club, etc.

Both nights were cool, so we actually got done around midnight. In years past, we've finished up at 2:00am. Some of the others had started around 6--I got there at 8pm. The upside is that they cook us a midnight meal. Curry stew Friday night, and teriyaki sausages on Saturday night. You get pretty hungry flipping steamed rice for 5 hours!

Japanese Street Dancing

2009-07-11T11:20:00.001-07:00

Well, it is time for the San Jose Obon Festival, and that means I am volunteering to help cool sushi rice again.

We were introduced to this fun street festival by family friends, who are of Japanese background.

My mother was enamoured of all things Asian (I suspect this might be partly why she was so pleased to adopt 2 little Korean girls). Like her, I also love exploring cultural events featuring Japan, China, and Korean.

Our first time at the festival, the street dancing with all the beautiful kimono just took our breath away! My mother would have LOVED it! Women and men, mostly Japanese of course, but some hapa, white, and even one older black gentleman all swayed in unison. They waved fans, or clicked instruments, graceful as swans. You can click this link to see it on youtube. Make sure the HQ link in the bottom right is set to "high quality" as it looks a lot better.

So, Teddy, being the outgoing sort, wasn't content to just stand on the sidewalk and watch. He actually jumped on line with our friends who were dancing, and joined in. How I wish I had a video of that day! Here are all these lovely, swaying, graceful Japanese people in their gorgeous yukata/kimono, doing these rehearsed dances...and Teddy in the middle of them all, wearing shorts and a dinosaur T-shirt, shaking his booty, no idea of the correct steps and not particularly caring! He hung onto our friend's kimono belt, almost pulling it off her, so she handed him her extra fan to keep his hands busy. He had a GREAT time, and we really enjoyed watching his antics and pretending he was not with us.

The next year, I bought him a Japanese style jacket to wear, the fans and the clackers, and dragged his butt to the practice sessions (link to this year's practice session), only to have him refuse to dance the actual day of the festival. I think that once he understood there were particular steps and motions to the street dancing, he did not feel comfortable just boogeying his way down the street like he did the year before. I danced that year, but figured my Japanese street dancing days were done. It was fun, but a lot of trouble to get to practice without a kid to motivate me.

A year or 2 later, I was drafted to take our friends' daughter dancing. Her parents had gotten sick the weekend of the festival, but Kay really wanted to go. Although I had not gone to the practices this time (they change every year), I was the only one in the immediate family who had ever done any of them. And I had a kimono that I could wear. So I went, and DH stayed on the side with the boys, as they watched me and Kay join in. I didn't know the steps, but I faked it, moving a few seconds behind everyone else in the line as I copied them (gee, just like my ballet recitals when I was 7!). I got many compliments on "my beautiful daughter", and instead of correcting people, I just smiled, nodded, and said Thank you! My mom would have enjoyed that too.

Anyway, I meant to blog about cooling the sushi rice, but I think I'll save that for tomorrow's post since this is turning out a bit long.

The reality of blogging...

2009-07-09T21:36:00.000-07:00

Not sure if I will have time to post today, so here is an editorial cartoon to tide you over...

http://www.seattlepi.com/horsey/viewbydate.asp?id=1952

Facebook relations

2009-07-08T22:58:00.000-07:00

So, FB (for me) is moving beyond just a networking tool for our Mom's group to plan picnics. Since joining a few months ago, I've rediscovered old college and high school friends, and it has been a blast!

There have been some weird moments too, when old acquaintances that you really never hoped to see again reach out to you. The Ignore button strikes me as too passive a response in some cases, and in others it seems too direct.

In the last few weeks, I've reconnected with nieces, nephews, and in-laws a continent away. The 3-hour time difference makes connecting by phone tricky, as one coast or the other is always sleeping, eating, or getting ready for work. Despite good intentions, months and months go by between contact. With FB, suddenly little daily trivia about their days are lined up on my screen. I don't always have a witty comment, but it provides a window for me to peek through. I can find out about the water balloon fight, see recent pictures, and tell if someone's life is getting busy by their absence online.

What is really funny is the difference in types of posts based on life stage. They range from lots of online personality quizzes for the teens, to beer and hockey for the 20-somethings. My 40-something single friends probably put up the most interesting posts--they travel, follow world events, and get politically active.

My posts are mostly about my kids and family life--scintillating reading, I am sure!

In 30 years, I wonder what the newest incarnation of social networking will look like? (brain implants, like Star Trek's Borg?) I also wonder what my minivan-driving friends and I will all be posting about when the kids are grown and gone. Will it all be AARP and social security? Who will I discover myself to be underneath all the family routine that I mostly blog/post about now?

No doubt each generation will still be rolling their eyes at the banal postings of the other, regardless.

And yet, it is still lovely to see that profile picture, and feel that all these friends and family are just a click away. It may even remind me to pick up the phone on the weekend and call somebody!

Facebook Reunion

2009-07-07T00:04:00.000-07:00

A wonderful thing happened yesterday. I got a letter from an old college friend, whom I have not been in touch with for about 10 years. She had written to our college alumni association, which respectfully did not share my address, but did agree to forward her letter. This was a bit surprising, since I had NO IDEA my college alumni association even knew where I was! I do not donate back, nor do I have a school affiliated credit card or bank account. These people have good sources!

Anyway, as soon as I got the forwarded letter, I of course picked up the phone and called her! We both screamed, talked too fast over each other, and logged onto Facebook. We raced to find each other's profiles, and once connected, exclaimed over the cuteness of each other's kids. It was a true multimedia reunion!

While searching for my friend's profile, I wrote on another old roommate's wall that I had heard from Kim, and got an email back during our phone call. I found myself in this weird, modern, 3-way telephone, FB, email conversation with 2 old college friends. The 4th roommate "finally" checked in by email 24 hours later, having missed all the excitement. My husband was quite amused that a mere 24 hours would count as someone arriving incredibly late in this age of instant contact.

Tomorrow, I'll tell you about how FB is helping me keep in touch with my geographically diverse family. This was enough excitement for one post.

Look Ma, no training wheels!

2009-07-06T23:35:00.000-07:00

Getting rid of training wheels is a major goal for the boys this summer. The last few summers Teddy has been practicing in the cul-de-sac. He could ride training wheel-less so long as he kept going in a circle--better clockwise than counter-clockwise.

But then Teddy tried to beg off buying a new bike this summer, with protestations of, "I don't want a bike, I'm more of a scooter kinda guy", and even "Why do I have to learn to ride a bigger bike--I can get whereever on my scooter. They even make them Dad's size!"

DH and I locked gazes over this topic, realizing we would have to get scarlet "F"s tattooed on our parental foreheads if this kid graduated elementary school without knowing one of the major skills of childhood. We both shuddered at the thought.

So, a few weeks ago, we stocked up on elbow and knee pads, and bought Teddy a new, taller, bicycle. He was starting to look like a circus clown riding his old one with his knees up to his chin. We did not buy training wheels for the new bike.

DH took Teddy out to the park on Sunday afternoon, and called within 15 minutes telling me to come out and see how he was doing. Barley came along out of curiosity, though he also assured us he had no interest in his bike either. Another "scooter kinda guy". When we tried to tell him that a bicycle was way faster than a scooter, he scoffed at us.

When we got to the park, I could barely see Teddy--he was all the way over on the other side of the park--this little dot riding a flash of gold, around the curve, and now coming closer. Still a bit wobbly on the handbrakes, and he needed his Dad to push him to start off. But he had really gotten 90% of the way there last summer, and just needs some more practice now.

Of course, part of me thinks it is not right that this is coming so easily to him. It seems to me that riding a bike is a skill that should take its pound of flesh, literally, to acquire. No doubt I am just jealous because it took me YEARS and many, many skinned knees, elbows, and sand-scoured palms to master. I was on training wheels an embarrassingly long time -- 4th grade, in fact. Most of my friends had shed their training wheels by 1st or 2nd grade. No one rode scooters back then, so this lack on my part was pretty evident.

Then again, most of my friends had ridden tricycles, and gotten bikes earlier than I did. Having been adopted at age 6, I got my bike in first grade, so I was a few years behind everyone else in my motor skill development. And I can't claim to ever have been particularly coordinated.

Another thing against me was my father was over 6' tall. When he would bend over to hold me up on the bike, it was always tipped a little away from him, so when he finally let go, I was really riding at an 80-degree angle, not 90-degrees straight up. I had to straighten the bike to a true vertical before riding on. The curb had my face all over it.

In fact, it was my friend Billy, across the street, who really taught me. He was my height, and wiry and strong. It was a beautiful spring day as he ran alongside me, holding me upright perfectly straight, encouraging me all the way, and when he let go, I could finally feel that balance point. Pump, pump, pump, and I made it to the end of the block without losing any skin! It was a BIG day. I thought my heart would burst out of my chest I was so happy!

And so was Teddy. Despite his earlier protestations, he was wearing a grin bigger than his face, and couldn't wait to go around again, and again. "Scooter kinda guy" my dupah*!

(*borrowing from my Polish relatives, you can guess the meaning from context)

When Barley tried to race his brother to see if a scooter can keep up with a bicycle, his brother smoked him--a clear country mile ahead of him on the bicycle. Barley is now eagerly looking forward to getting his own new bike. No, we won't be buying training wheels for that one either.

Missed the Fireworks but not the drama

2009-07-05T22:22:00.000-07:00

Due to the economy, many cities have canceled their fireworks celebrations, so larger crowds were expected at the remaining venues. The plan was to be at our park by 2pm, for a fireworks show that would begin at 9:30pm.

That was going to be a long day out in the sun with hyperactive boys. DH and I decided to go in 2 cars, to allow one of us to meet up with our friends at the designated time, and the remaining adult to finish the entertainment and meal packing and join a few hours later. Since DH is also prone to heat exhaustion, he got assigned the late shift.

As it was, I ended up returning home within minutes of departing, to drop off Teddy. He and his brother got into fisticuffs in the back of the van during a moment of inattention while I refueled. The boys fight less when separated, obviously.

The weather turned out lovely. We went back and forth to the 2 play structures, ate lots of popcorn, snacked, got more food, ate some more. It even got a little breezy toward the end. Overall, though, we all really enjoyed the picnic/park day, and we had an awesome spot to watch the fireworks from.

Unfortunately, I missed them completely. Barley had complained of a headache earlier in the day, but he was having so much fun, he played on through it. As the evening wore on though, it bothered him more and more. Finally 20 minutes before the fireworks were to start, the live band's speakers were bothering Barley so much he had his hands over his ears.

Now, this is a kid who didn't enjoy fireworks until he was 5. We used to sit and watch fireworks with him in my lap, face burrowed into my jacket, head covered with a blanket, and both my hands covering his own hands over his ears. It took years before he was finally comfortable just watching them from the safety of my lap. The last couple of years, he's been able to just sit and watch on his own.

20 minutes before the fireworks were due to start, he was complaining of his headache getting worse, and already covering his ears just from the band. I had a bad feeling about this, and when Barley gets overloaded, total meltdown can be just minutes away. I suggested to DH that someone should take him home, and we had a brief, um, "discussion" about which of us should go. Even though DH was parked a lot closer and could make a faster getaway, Barley does better emotionally with me--a connection we credit to Barley's infancy when I could comfort the breastfeeding baby in a way DH was ill-equipped to do. In the end, I won out.

Barley's headache persisted all the way home, but eased off significantly once we left the park. He did OK with the long walk to the car (it was too much of a zoo to try to find DH's car), and since we left before the show started, getting out was easy. DH and Teddy followed in our wake 40 minutes later, but were 2 hours getting home. I did get to see some fireworks in my sideview mirror as we sped down the highway going home.

I was pretty tuckered out from the day in the sun anyway, and there will be other fireworks shows at Great America this summer. Snuggling my baby as he went to sleep to escape his headache was a better place to be.

Major Themes

2009-07-03T15:57:00.000-07:00

I keep thinking of posts and half-finishing them. There are a lot of major themes going on in life right now, and they are too big or too personal to blog about. To avoid complete radio silence, I will try just summing up the themes, and maybe I will find a way later to explain in more detail:

Starting with the good news--work is going well. I don't plan to go into a lot of detail here, and while more money, better title would always be appreciated, I must confess that I am content at the moment. My boss is giving me the right balance of challenge; enough to keep me interested, but not so much that I feel overwhelmed. This is a great change of pace from prior years where stress or utter boredom were the choices. And in these economic times, I am grateful to be employed and satisfied--seems like a miracle, actually.
The boys are challenging us these days. Between Barley's anger management, and Teddy's crossing into the challenging "Tween" years, DH and I have our hands very full. There are days where I wish I could just walk away from everything. It is just as well that work is going OK for me, as I can really only handle 1 crisis in my life at a time. And I am grateful that there are 2 of us to handle the boys, as they would surely grind us down one at a time until there is nothing left but dust and frustrated intentions.
The marriage is doing all right. Not enough couple time, but that is typical in Silicon Valley. Certainly we've weathered some nasty storms, but the sea is calming and the hull of the ship is intact. We're making good time to reach a safe port.
Health is good all around. Physical health, anyway. Mental health is being challenged by the boys' developmental stuff. Hopefully we'll survive this patch and raise boys into respectable men.
Wealth...well, that's not doing too well. Not a surprise in this economy, but with DH only working part-time, and our house now worth less than our mortgage (and we put 30% down!), that makes paying that fat old mortgage that much more depressing each month. We'll keep our fingers crossed with the rest of the country that things have to get better in a few years.
Happiness seems to come and go with my hormones. There was a day earlier this week when everything in life seemed grand, and I could think about my life and see only the blessings I have to be grateful for--and there are many! I'll list them here to remind myself when hormones swing the other direction again in 20 minutes: health, job, marriage, beautiful bright boys, home, neighborhood, the president I wanted, living in America, living in California, friends, a precious hour to myself. Then I can almost feel the tide of brain chemicals turn, and the undertow of depression creeps in. Suddenly my rose-colored glasses fog up, and all I can see is everything that is not the way I want it in my life. A rough day with the boys can bring this on in just a few snarky comments, or a sharp kick or punch from Barley. Seeking indeed...but what?

There are other minor themes going on as well, but they take a back seat to the major ones. No solutions here today, or bright funny comments to wrap up with. Just my life as it is, and the reasons why some days I have a harder time coming up with clever, amusing posts than others.

For the moment, seeking caffeine, sugar, or some good escapist literature.

Weird week in Face-book

2009-06-30T17:08:00.000-07:00

It has been an odd week in social networking for me. Two friends of mine from completely different social contexts bumped into each other in my FB status update--turns out they knew each other in high school! That was fun.

Another old friend of mine from my high school days connected, and that was also nice. But a little odd because I had not spoken to him since college, when I contacted him in reaction to a stalking incident where someone invoked him name while calling me nightly in my dorm room. So, I was a little wary when he "friended" me, and tried to make sure it was really him before accepting. Happily, it was.

And then today I got a friend request from someone I knew in college, but it started off with, "I heard you were a Mental Case..." Ummm, OK, that's kind of weird. I did not accept, but I did reply that the greeting was a little odd. He replied back that, Hey, at least it got your attention, and don't worry, I'm normal now... Hmmmm.... I have not accepted yet.

So, I did a little Google-surfing, and found this very helpful webpage referencing articles on FB etiquette, privacy settings, and managing that blur between social and professional networking. Here is another one.

I have some reading to do.

New Birdbath

2009-06-29T07:50:00.000-07:00

So, DH got a new birdbath for his birthday. He has wanted a "real" one for some time, and my attempts at discount artsy ones were met with...less than enthusiastic response. So, I finally gave him the green light, to go buy the birdbath of his dreams, so long as he counted it as his birthday gift from me this year. Why do they have to be so pricey, anyway?

He picked out this nice one. It is cement, I think, and very heavy. No worries about stray shots from the basketball hoop nearby knocking it over.

And it DOES look a lot nicer than the previous one.

So....how do the birds like it?

Not so much.

Part of the reason we wanted a bigger birdbath, is there has been some traffic congestion with the old one. The birds would line up on the fence above, waiting their turn. And we see some territoriality in display as well, with one bird chasing other birds away. When we saw a bird playing in the bucket used to fill the bath, we thought getting a bigger bath might help.

So, we have seen some occasional birds sit on the edge and sipping. But none have sat it it to really bathe or splash yet. And we have seen several of the smaller brown birds consider from the fence for 5 minutes or longer, finally convince themselves to swoop down over the birdbath, only to pull up at the last moment and fly away. I suspect the bigger birdbath may be too deep for them. Either that, or they just aren't used to it yet. We do plan to set up the old one again further away, but we are trying to give the birds some time to get used to the new one.

Barley, our youngest, said the new birdbath is nice, but he wishes we had told him we were going to change it first. The birds seem to agree with him.

How hot was it?

2009-06-28T16:49:00.000-07:00

It was over 100 degrees today, and it was SO HOT....

I had to use a cloth handkerchief as a potholder to drive my car
The refrigerated banana bread got nicely warmed up in the trunk of my car on the way to my book club meeting
My left arm (window) really regretted the lack of sunblock
My sunglasses were too hot to wear--I had to hang them on my air vents to cool them off before switching

Using my hanky as a potholder reminded me of a time a friend of mine misplaced his leather riding gloves. Returning home late at night, he opted to borrow another friend's oven mitts to protect his hands from windburn on the long ride home. He said he got a lot of funny looks at red lights.

Failed Tomato #4

2009-06-28T12:33:00.000-07:00

Below is a photo of failed tomato number 4. You'll recall my earlier porno-graphic tomato posting.

So, it's official. I need to stop buying the clearance tomato plants from the 3-Mile Island nursery.

(word) Problems from Math Camp

2009-06-24T18:00:00.000-07:00

Since I was working from home today, I was able to assist with the 2-places-at-once challenge of picking up children from different summer camps at the same time. I picked up Barley, freeing up DH to linger to speak with camp counselors when picking up Teddy this afternoon.

I was treated all the way home with 7-year old Barley challenging me to solve the math word problems he had solved during math camp. It was interesting, but I did complain to him that I had not signed up for math camp, and it was not fair to ambush me with word problems while I was driving!

Here are some samples, in case any of you want to try them. I had to solve 10 in 5 minutes because that is how long our commute was. To get maximum effect, try while driving in local traffic, with chatty kid in back seat, do all math in your head. Or not. (Answers at bottom)

1) If Grandfather is 96 years old, and his granddaughter Amy is one-twelfth of Grandpa's age, how old is Amy?

2) If Mommy is 4 years less than half of Grandpa's age, how old is Mommy?

3) If Daddy is an equal number of years older than Amy and younger than Grandpa, how old is Daddy?

For the record, I got them all right, and did not get into an accident on the way home. Yay me!

Answers: 8, 44, 52

Songs of The Jungle

2009-06-23T23:00:00.000-07:00

So, Father's Day was relatively uneventful. We had traded it to Saturday to allow for "Barley Day" instead, as a reward for weeks of behavior management.

I had a bet with DH on whether the local indoor play space for kids would be packed or empty on Father's Day. DH figured most fathers would be celebrating with picnics or family outings. The cynic in me said that it was extremely hot out, and all the divorced Dads who had custody or visitation on Father's Day would want to upgrade the usual Saturday morning McD's play area experience with something a little more exciting.

I am happy to report that DH's more generous view of the state of fatherhood in the area proved correct. The Jungle was almost deserted. There was only 1 birthday party--usually there are closer to 10.

We settled in the downstairs pizza area where all the parents hang out. We had told the boys they had to eat their lunch before they disappeared with the tokens. In all, there were maybe 8 sets of parents waiting for kids, who were running through the Byzantine play structures, to come back occasionally in search of hydration, sustenance, and video tokens.

Our boys were sweatier and sweatier each time they returned. Ick.

DH and I had brought paperbacks with us, planning to read while waiting for the children to check back in. It was SO quiet, that had the plastic lawn chairs in the pizza area been replaced by lounge chairs, it might almost have been a poolside vacation. This is the most relaxed I have ever been at this place. There was even music playing in the background.

Wait.

The music was, ummm, not really appropriate for the 12 and under set that The Jungle is aimed at. Here were some of the selections:

Tonight's the Night--Rod Stewart. (girl loses virginity)
Somebody's Baby--Jackson Browne (girl loses virginity)
Heart and Soul--Huey Lewis (basic booty call song)

Obviously selected by the teenagers working the food bar and prize booth (though you would think they would pick newer songs?), but it was a bit disconcerting. Fortunately, it was not very loud, and I am sure the children running amok on the play structures didn't notice.

I got nothing

2009-06-21T09:30:00.000-07:00

I wish I had some clever, sweet, or sassy posting here to celebrate Father's Day. But I got nothing. I may think of something clever by the end of the day, but then it will be too late.

Part of the difficulty may lie in the fact that we are celebrating "Barley Day" today instead, as a reward for good behavior via the marble jar. You may recall we had "Teddy Day" last weekend. Due to scheduling conflicts, today was the best day to do this.

Luckily, there are a LOT of clever writers out there, so I am going to direct those of you looking for funny Father's Day posting to read MetroDad's column. He's profane at times, but always funny.

Happy Father's Day, DH, even though your day got highjacked by your youngest. Letting him do it is one of the many, many things you do that make you a wonderful father. We all love you!

PG-rated tomatoes

2009-06-20T10:00:00.000-07:00

OK, so my vegetable garden is not doing so well. I harvested 4 peppers to make pepper steak, so that is one small victory. And we got 2 small (but VERY delicious) cucumbers before all the rest of the budding cukes shriveled up and DIED. No idea why we got 2 good ones even.

We've had a handful of tiny strawberries, and Teddy and I carefully shared the one fat blueberry from the bushes in front. The blueberry yield being low is intentional, as I nipped all the blooms off to encourage root formation for the first year or 2. Two buds got by me and started to fruit. The birds got one, and we got the other.

I am having a terrible time with tomatoes, though. This specimen at left is the second tomato to go from slightly orange, to red and exploding out of its skin in less than 2 days.

DH did a little research, and the problem is either that the watering is inconsistent (I'm trying!) or the side yard is so hot, it may be boiling the tomato in its skin and causing it to burst.

If we ever get another tomato ripening, I will pick it as soon as it starts to blush. Hopefully we will get one good tomato this summer, thought it is not looking likely.

If I were to add up all the produce we are likely to get from my gardening efforts, ignoring the cost of water and my time, it would probably come out to about $10 per vegetable. Good thing the world is not relying on my meager efforts toward relieving the food crisis!

OK, so now we come to the PG-rated portion of this posting. Actually, "R" might be more appropriate... Those of you with delicate sensibilities may wish to look away. I'll leave a big space so you don't accidentally view the naked tomato below.

ummmmm.....

well.....

what have we here?....

I spotted this in the middle of the night while watering my Earthbox container. I could see that something was protruding from the fruit, so I clipped it off the vine and tossed it toward the garbage can. I thought it was some humongous worm crawling out, and was so grossed out, I washed my hands when I went back inside.

In the morning, the tomato was still there, with the same protrusion, unchanged from the night before.

A few experimental pokes with a long-handled gardening tool, and I was assured that whatever that was, it was not a creature of any kind. I inspected my other tomatoes, and none of the rest show any indication of this mutation.

I asked DH to help me dissect it, but for some reason, he felt hesitant to slice open the, umm..., appendage. I was still freaked that it was some kind of bug, so I finally persuaded him to do the honors.

As you can see from the photo, the tomato, and its little boy-part, are entirely vegetal. HOW WEIRD.

No, that did not go into my salad.

I don't look like that

2009-06-19T07:30:00.000-07:00

One of the "joys" of the end of the school year is the pile of paper that follows your child home on the last day. Some of it is trash, and I envision the teacher being relieved to have gotten rid of all this detritus before sweeping out her classroom and locking up for the summer.

But there are also some treasures in there. Projects and artwork done months ago, which have lived on the classroom walls, watching all that education happening from a great vantage point.

I have been looking forward especially to the return of Barley's heritage project. Given that our boys have no grandparents to speak of, or to, they each interviewed ME about my immigrant experience. I was only 6 at the time, but the transition from Korean orphan to American adoptee does make for an interesting story. And it is my chance to indoctrinate my boys on the fact that we are KOREAN, not Chinese, as my older son once reported to the Cub Scout Pack. (This happened shortly after completing his heritage project, wherein he colored in a Korean map, and a Korean flag. Clearly the boy was not paying attention!)

Anyway, I have to share this image with you. This is how Barley drew a picture of me for the heritage project. It simultaneously makes me laugh, and makes me indignant. I do NOT look like this!

OK, so the hair looks like mine, and I do wear glasses. But what's with the black straps on my shirt? Am I wearing lederhosen, Barley?? That is SO NOT Korean!

And I do not own striped jeans. Nor do ANY of my pants have pockets on the KNEES.

Seriously, where does he get these ideas? I may not be the most fashionable person in Silicon Valley, but neither do I ever leave the house looking like...Olga the cross-dressing Bavarian clown! Sheesh!

Math Camp Day 1 in the bag

2009-06-18T21:20:00.000-07:00

First day of Math Camp went smoothly. Barley came back very excited, told us all about the awesome lunch he bought, and the extra snack he scored with the change he was supposed to bring home.

This is the first time we've put our kids on a bus like this. Barley had to find his own way to the right classroom when he arrived. He also had to find the right bus to get home again. All proceeded fine, and he had both Language Arts and Math homework to do. He slyly admitted to tackling his Math homework FIRST.

Teddy, meantime, really enjoyed having a day with his dad just hanging out. They went to the Tech museum and had pizza for lunch. DH was very gratified that our California-born son appreciated the finer points of New York-style pizza.

Honor Roll is for all of us

2009-06-18T07:30:00.001-07:00

I so enjoyed attending the Honor Roll assembly earlier this week. Of course, I will admit I would not have been there if Teddy was not receiving recognition himself. And while I am happy that he made Honor Roll all the quarters this year, I am disappointed that he did not make Principal's List.

I hope that I am not the stereotypical Asian mom that expects perfect scores and a Harvard education for all her kids. I know every child is unique, and there will be things each of my sons is less capable and more capable at.

However, Teddy had straight A's in all his subjects except Math. In Math, he got a B+. Even that is a miracle, since he had some D's and C's mid-quarter, which were the direct result of inattention and lack of effort. Teddy is a very bright boy. I know he does not care for math, it is not his FAVORITE like writing or goofing around in class. BUT, this bright child of ours has qualified for the school's gifted program, so it is not that he cannot do the work. He just would rather complain and whine about his math homework for AN HOUR before actually starting. Granted, it requires THINKING, and all that THINKING meant it actually took 45 minutes to finish that page of math. The rest of his homework is so easy for him, he is done in 15 minutes. BUT, please note that he turned a 45 minute assignment into an hours plus 45 minutes, and whew, that's a lot of video gametime he just lost out on 'cuz he'd rather whine.

But I digress. Honor Roll assembly.

I really enjoy seeing the other kids get their certificates. There is Principal's List for straight A's, and Honor Roll for As and Bs. There is also Bug Roll for students who improve a full letter grade in any subject over the course of the year. There was loud (non-golf) clapping from the kids called up for Bug Roll, as their friends recovered from the shock. Everyone knows who the Honor Roll and Principal's list kids are. But Bug Roll could be any of them. Academic recognition for Everykid.

And I like seeing the parents. Many of us know each other, which is not surprising. Since there is a strong correlation between parents who volunteer and children who thrive in school, we've run into each other in the classroom, on field trips, and other school events.

I also like getting to know the kids who are doing well in school--those are the ones I want to encourage my kids to hang out with. And I can check out the kids who cannot sit still for the 1-hour ceremony. I'll keep an eye on them when they show up on the birthday party invitation list. Honor Roll as both community building event and tween stakeout.

Our Connected World

2009-06-17T19:48:00.001-07:00

A friend shared this link. As I am still stymied by the Twitter and Facebook thing, thought I would share this editorial cartoon with you too.

Overheard in the car

2009-06-17T08:00:00.000-07:00

We've been scrambling to find new summer camp for Teddy when his Spanish language immersion program was canceled by the district. One option we are looking at is a karate camp, since he has been asking to get back into that.

DH was discussing this option with Teddy in the car, and warned him to think about it from all angles. "You will be doing karate in camp and will have to pay attention. It won't be just fun and games all day."

At this point, Barley pipes in, gloating, "Yeah, it won't be all fun and games, Teddy! Not like MATH ENRICHMENT!"

OK, so we have some concerns about possibly over-high expectations for Math Camp on Barley's part. Especially since we learned the first book they will be reading for the Language Arts portion is one that Barley dislikes. Also, the camp has already started this Monday, and because our district is the last one to end the school year, Barley will be joining the class 3 days after all the other kids have already arrived.

Should be an interesting first day tomorrow.

Machismo in Scouting

2009-06-15T16:22:00.001-07:00

We are losing one scout from Teddy's den, and it makes me sad. The boy in question has had it with the macho leadership, and the disastrous camping trip last month has pushed him over the edge. DH was not surprised by this, as the scouting activities have been getting more and more strenuous as the boys got older. Last summer, on the cub scout camping trip, we went on a hike that had some of the boys huffing and puffing. Being CUB scouts, we rested often to let the kids having a rougher time catch their breath. And the parents on the hike did not tolerate any teasing of the kids who were struggling.

But I can imagine that these attitudes might not be enforced as rigorously as the boys get older. Especially since the idea of BOY scouts is that the boys should lead the activities themselves as much as possible, so there would be less parental oversight. I am hoping that the standards we enforce now will take root for when we step back later on.

We've already run into "Jock" attitudes in 10-year old flag football, where Teddy and other less skilled footballers were teased by their teammates. Whenever DH heard any harassment over missed plays, he squashed it sternly. But we noticed that the Coach, whose son was one of the instigators, never said anything about it. And sometimes the teasing was harsh enough to bring the boy to tears.

I am really happy with cub scouting. It is providing a great family activity, with many different types of experiences. The boys are being exposed to academic, cultural, and outdoor activities that they would not otherwise. But I worry that as they get older, some of that machismo may kick in, and I don't really want my boys picking up that kind of attitude. I wonder how much longer we will be able to overlook the occasional racist or sexist comment to reap the rewards that Scouting has to offer. At what point will we be confronted with enough of the conservative values that we cannot continue to be part of this group?

We refused to join a church that supported the anti-gay marriage Prop 8 in California. I feel a little hypocritical to be so enthusiastically part of an organization that holds the same views. I suppose one difference is that we do not expect the scouting organization to be the standard-bearer for values, the way you would look to church leadership. DH and I are actively involved enough that we believe we can still dilute any non-PC comments that may come out of another adult's mouth during a scouting event.

I do think boys scouts runs more of a risk of the "tough guy" attitude than I ever saw in girl scouts. I suppose there were other socialization risks with girl scouts, but I am more comfortable with that arena than the all-boy environment I find myself in now.

2 weeks down, 2 to go

2009-06-15T08:00:00.000-07:00

End of School Year Week 2 COMPLETE, which included:

Field Trip to Aquatic Center
Field Trip to Fish Market Restaurant (where kids ate pizza???)
Cub Scout Recruiting night
Barley's behavior class
Teddy's talk with counselor
Field Trip to California Rancho
Math Mardi Gras contest
Teddy Day, culminating in Giant Ant movie night, followed by nightmares
Cub Scout BBQ & Raingutter Regatta

Week 3 beginning today--on the agenda this week:

Puzzle morning
Honor Roll Assembly
Field Trip to Fish Market for other child
Game morning
Bubble afternoon
Last Day of school (Ice Cream required)
Swim lessons every day!
Cub Scout den meeting at our house
Last day of Barley's behavior class (no, it's not working yet)
Cub Scout Parent planning meeting
Math Camp begins

Oh, and yes, one of my busiest weeks this quarter at work. This should be exciting--fasten your seatbelts, everyone!

Post Teddy Day

2009-06-14T15:19:00.000-07:00

Poor Teddy. His day did not work out as he had hoped. He and his brother had some issues in the morning that resulted in his losing the chance to pick where we had lunch. He got peanut butter & jelly at home instead.

The much anticipated Dungeons & Dragons session didn't work out when one friend could not make it. We did have E come over for a playdate, so that part was good. And he got to pick where we went for dinner. I left my purse at the restaurant, but that was this morning's adventure--dinner last night was fine.

And Teddy and his Dad headed out to the park's Bugged Out Movie night, featuring a talk by an entomologist, and 50's era black/white horror movie Them, featuring a plot of gigantic attacking ants. Barley and I stayed home, watching old Avatar episodes and filling our bellies with popcorn. We knew the giant ants theme would be too much for Barley.

Turned out it was a bit too much for Teddy too. He and DH arrived back home before the end of the movie. Sitting in an old barn late at night, and seeing a dead body in one scene, spooked Teddy so much he asked to leave. We tried to lighten the mood a little, joking about the poor actor who had to play the stiff. His eyes had been open, so he must have blinked a lot on accident and required multiple takes.

Teddy tried to laugh with us, but even at 10:30 at night (hours after his usual bedtime)--he ended up sleeping in our bed, with me NEXT TO HIM. My job was to be a warm breathing presence in the room. I even had to close the window because the traffic noises were creeping him out.

Fortunately, he woke up to sunshine this morning, and he had fully recovered.

Tomorrow is "Teddy Day"

2009-06-12T23:30:00.000-07:00

We've been working on behavior issues with both boys, and decided to simplify the myriad consequences, rules, rewards, etc. to one simple marble jar. Each child has the chance to earn 3 marbles per day for good behavior: 1 for the morning, 1 for after school, and 1 for after dinner to bedtime. They are filling small glass jars with these marbles, and when the jar is filled all the way, they earn a day that is all theirs.

Teddy got there first, and Barley is a scant 2 days behind him. This has taken about 6 weeks, so the boys are VERY excited. There will be only one special day per weekend, so Teddy gets his day tomorrow, and Barley's will be next week. They are both OK with that, since the day is usually filled with kid-focused fun activities, and the sibling gets a free ride.

Teddy's plans so far include having 2 friends over to play Dungeons and Dragons. DH has been running the game for them, and I hover around doing dishes or whatnot, eavesdropping on their game. I could write a whole blog just on the D&D game, and probably will soon. Maybe tomorrow. The indoctrination of the next generation of nerds is in full swing!

Given that DH and I met as the result of D&D, I have no objection to introducing the game to the boys. It is a very creative outlet that encourages them to use their imaginations, and work together to kill trolls, er, solve problems. It is interesting to hear the group dynamics as the personality of each child shines through in all the negotiating.

In addition to D&D, Teddy will be able to pick where we have lunch, and influence the entree for dinner. Reasonable behavior is still required, and extreme rudeness or bad attitude can cause the special day to be cancelled. This has unfortunately happened in the past. Hopefully we won't have any problem tomorrow.

After dinner, Teddy and DH will be heading to the local park for "Bugged Out Movie night". The park service will have an entomologist do a presentation on ants, offer chocolate-covered ants for the adventurous, and then show the 1950's horror flick: Them. Free popcorn and lemonade is available, reservations required. DH was able to get the last 2 seats for Alex and him.

Barley and I will have our own popcorn and watch something much less creepy at home. I love the IDEA behind Bugged Out Movie Night, but horror flicks are not my thing. And exposing Barley to giant ants attacking people does not seem like it would help with future outdoor experiences. I understand one friend had a childhood experience with a frogman movie that scarred her for life...

Coffee and Catch-Up

2009-06-09T23:21:00.000-07:00

I had a chance to reconnect with an old friend today. The reason for our reunion over coffee is fodder for another blog entry another time.

I had not seen Antonio for several years, and we spent the first 20 minutes resetting our coordinates of each others' families:

What jobs were we doing now, and at what companies?
Where were our spouses working, and how did they like it?
Ages and grades and favorite activities of our children?
Exchange of photo displays and exclamations of how quickly kids grow.

Once the topographical mapping of each others' lives was complete, I broached the reason that I had contacted my friend to re-establish communication.

Communication between us had dissipated since we both changed careers and stopped working together. We tried to stay in touch, organizing quarterly, then semiannual lunches with several ex-colleagues to reconnect. When we were remapping our coordinates, we realized it has been 2 or 3 years since the last group lunch when we saw each other.

Our hour long conversation roamed from religion, to politics, to raising kids and school life, to business prospects in Silicon Valley and the impact of the recession on those around us. Fortunately, both our families are doing all right at the moment, though a change in direction of the economic winds of fortune could quickly upset the comfortable status quo.

I came back from the reunion very content, having accomplished my mission in recruiting Antonio for a special project. But I was also full of joy at having reconnected with an old friend. The relaxed conversation reminded me how much we think alike, share world view and values, and how much we enjoy each others' company. Life is so busy and it is centered on our children these days. It is hard to stay in touch with friends whose children do not attend the same school as ours, or are not compatible playdate ages. We have also lost the easy connection of co-located offices.

I am hoping social networking tools like Facebook will make this easier somehow, but I am afraid I have not cracked the code on that yet. In the meantime, I am hoping our next project together will give us ample opportunities to share more lovely conversation like today. Next up, time to organize a group lunch. Seems we are a few years overdue.

One down, three more to go

2009-06-05T21:38:00.000-07:00

June is a marathon.

The end of the school year approaches, and everything ends with a Bang! End of school year celebrations to show off all the students have learned, and field trips to help desperate teachers make it to the last day of school with a class full of children who suffer from one or all of the following conditions:

Burnout: Stretched thin from 10 months of learning, these kids are READY to go. Their brains are full, and they can't stand the homework drill for one more boring day! Their friends at other schools are already out for the summer, why are they still locked in a classroom?
Sleep-deprivation: Eager for summer vacation to start, these kids can't fall asleep at night because the days are so long. Bedtime? It's still bright out, who can sleep? The windows are open to let out the stifling heat because the air-conditioning doesn't reach the second floor well enough, and there is street noise keeping them awake. They want to stay up an hour later because the neighbor kids are still out on the street playing, and why can't we? How many days until summer freedom rings?!
Anxiety: Whether they understand it or not, these children thrive on routine. And while they look forward to summer vacation too, they are partly anxious about the end of the daily school routine. Sure, they'll get to stay up later, and sleep in more, but every day will be a change in routine, and they just don't like that!

Oh, and as the school schedules end of year awards ceremonies, parties, and field trips...so do all the extra-curricular activities!

Cub Scout graduation night? Check. Oh, and remember to complete all the badge requirements before they move up to the next rank and start all over again.

Flag Football playoffs? Let's throw in an extra practice to get ready! And the pizza party will be right after the last game!

And summer plans are already beginning:

The pool is open, time for swim lessons!
Math Camp Orientation on Saturday
Cub Scout BBQ the following weekend
Have we doublechecked all the summer camp schedules to make sure there are no conflicts?
Could we squeeze in an evening cub camp to earn another badge over the summer? (At this point, DH looks at me like I have 3 heads, and asks, do the boys even WANT more badges? Ok...maybe we could skip that this summer..Ya think??!!?!)

No wonder I am counting down. One down, three more weeks of June to go.

We've got (baby) worms!

2009-06-04T20:47:00.000-07:00

I've been neglecting the worm bins lately, since it seems like all I find when I poke around in there are those annoying whiteflies or fruitflies (don't inhale when you open the lid!).

Everything I read about worm bins says overfeeding is more of a problem than underfeeding (I guess worms don't really eat that much), so other than making sure the bedding does not get too dry during the last heat wave, I'd given up on them for a while.

This past weekend I decided to check on them again. I opened the lower layer, where supposedly the "younger" worms hang out, and was able to see 2 or 3 right away without having to poke around. They are in the dark more, so the worms did not hide as quickly. Also, this is the layer that would have had the worm eggs when I got the Worm Factory a few months ago, so some must have hatched by now.

But what about the upper layer, where I had never seen more than 2 adult worms? Supposedly there were dozens in the original batch, but I never saw anywhere near that number. I poked around and saw some tiny pink baby worms, which made me happy. This means the adults had laid new eggs and they had hatched! Aaaaawwww! How cute!

Encouraged, I placed the defrosted, microwaved, shredded food bits in the top layer, and poked around some more. I found an eggshell from a feeding a month ago, and inside were dozens of tiny wiggly white worms. Discussion with a friend's 7-year old daughters confirmed these are also baby redworms. They start out white and get pinker, then red as they get bigger. Yippee--the worms are not totally dead. I may actually start feeding them again.

Huzzah for the Commenter!

2009-06-03T23:47:00.000-07:00

How many of you have ever been to the Northern California Renaissance Faire? When you tip there, they typically ring a big bell, and yell out loudly to everyone in earshot, "Huzzah for the Tipper!" with long protracted vowels, so it sounds more like this:

"Huzzaaaaaaah for the Tippeeeerrrrrrrrr!"

The point of this is to add to the festive atmosphere, remind people that tipping is appreciated, and to reward the person who gave the tip and encourage them to do so again.

I am always embarrassed by the big show, and this actually incents me NOT to tip because I don't want them to Huzzah all over me. All of that attention can be a little embarrassing (though since I blog, I clearly can't be too shy, right?).

Why am I writing this? Because I am going to be a dork and Huzzah all over my first stranger comment on my blog, and I am really hoping Kim doesn't mind and won't run away screaming, regretting that she commented in the first place.

No offense to Lorraine and DH who have been commenting all along. You guys write great comments, and I love them! But you know and love me already, and you are reading my blog because I begged, er, invited you to.

When I went public with this blog 6 weeks ago, I had 2 fears:

1) That instantly overnight my blog would be read by 1000's of people, and the stress of writing for the bigger audience would make me crack, or some weird stalker would out me and my family and we would have to join the federal witness protection plan and change our identities to get away from the screaming fans (riiiiight--fantasyland, I know)

OR, more likely...

2) No one new would read or care about this blog anyway, so making it public just would not matter

Well, 6 weeks, and no news cameras at my door, so I guess I can stop worrying about the first scenario. But the second is still likely. Oh well, I plan to optimize my URL, put some analytics on here to measure traffic, and then start doing some Search Engine Optimization (SEO) so I can really market this blog.

Lo, and behold, along comes Kim to leave a funny comment, and I am stymied. My next blog posting, all written and queued up for the Publish button, was about the worm factory in the backyard. I know I have at least one reader who really is interested in how my worms are doing, and I hadn't posted on that for a while. But what about Kim? Having posted a comment once, if she didn't abandon me forever for outing her in my blog entry, would she ever come visit me again if I post about the worms?

And I really want her (and all the other lurking readers her presence implies) to keep reading, because one of these days I might actually write something good! Oh hey, read my Wii remote entry, maybe that'll make you want to come back!

Ok, so I promise not to do this for every new comment. Kim will always be my first, which I think qualifies her as a friend for life. I have already cyber-stalked her, I mean, read her blog, and she seems like someone I could hang with. I got really excited when I saw that she is related to a QUILTER since quilting is one of many hobbies I wish I had more time to pursue. And she has some great posts on her blog, including these gems:

What is Twitter? (she was tweeted by Neil Gaiman (!), my favorite writer!)
This is why it was called the Depression

Nice to meet you, Kim! And really, I promise not to get all weird on you or anything. If it's not too late already, that is. And you might want to skip tomorrow's post--worms, you know.

Dads and Donuts

2009-06-02T23:34:00.000-07:00

I got to be an honorary Dad this morning.

DH had a court appearance that he could not miss, and I explained to Teddy that his Dad would not be able to attend the 4th grade-hosted "Dad and Donuts" event running from 9:00 to 11:00am. Teddy was bummed out, but seemed to accept the disappointment.

Less than 5 minutes later, Teddy returned to my side with a pleading look and asked if I could please, please, pretty please come to the Dads and Donuts event in DH's place. Umm, Teddy, I'm not a Dad. Won't that look kind of silly? He assured me it would be fine, he would not be embarrassed to have his Mom there instead of his Dad, and could I please come?

Luckily, my manager has school age kids of her own, and announced this week that her schedule would be affected this month by a cluster of "end of school year activities". Thank goodness for webmail and iPhones--I checked the pulse of my in-box to make sure nothing was going to meltdown if I was an hour late getting to the office, and then agreed to stay. I also told Teddy that I would have to leave at 10 to get to a meeting on time.

I followed one of our neighbors into the cafeteria, where there were about 20 or so Dads waiting. Yes, I was the only woman. And wearing a bright pink dress. Our neighbor teased me that I had forgotten to wear my Man-pants this morning. I felt pretty conspicuous and stuck close to my friend.

When the children came trooping in, there were 3 classes (about 90 children), and only about 25% of the students had a Dad "or Guest" present. I felt bad that the teacher running the event had to keep appending "or Guest" every time he announced the next activity, just because I was there. However, Teddy was very glad to be able to sit with me, and he invited 4 rowdy Dad-less friends to join us at our table. Our neighbor was also with us, and his quiet daughter.

Teddy took my drink and donut order, and served both to me. Then he was able to serve himself, before the guestless masses were dismissed table by table to stand in line to get their own sugar and carbs. Aha, the real reason Teddy wanted me to attend today!

So, I enjoyed my donut, chatted with the boys at the table, posing them brainteasers to keep their natural boy table thumping, backslapping, namecalling hyperactivity from escalating into fisticuffs. It was 9:40 and I wondered what on earth they were going to do for the next hour with all these sugared-up kids. I was leaving soon.

Well, more fun was in store! One of the teachers gave a dissertation on the various methods and controversies surrounding the claiming of the title "Tallest Building in the World" (who knew?). There is even an official Council that decides these things.

All this was an introduction to the next activity, which involved 30 straws and one 3-inch piece of tape. Each team would include one Dad "or Guest", their child, and however many other children as they wanted. The goal would be to build the tallest structure possible using just the straws and tape. Only "habitable" levels would count, as defined by 2 straws joining, and no more than 2 straws stuck end-to-end per level. 30 straws stuck end-to-end would just be a radio antenna and that height would be disqualified.

I explained to Teddy and his 4 rowdy friends that I could not stay, but my friend agreed to allow them to join his team with his demure daughter. I felt bad that he had inherited such a motley crew as a result of sitting next to me, but he seemed to take it in stride. In fact, before I left, he had already gone to the judge for clarification on the rules and started talking to all of kids about the stability of a tripod structure.

I think they were in good hands. On my way into the office, I called DH to tease him that I had eaten his chocolate donut--SCORE!

Sneaking in some music

2009-06-01T22:51:00.001-07:00

DH has been giving Barley stealth music lessons. While Barley gravitated to the electronic keyboard during Teddy's season of keyboard lessons, he steadfastly refused to take lessons himself. The same way he steadfastly refuses to eat most vegetables put on his plate. And while nutrition is something I am willing to wrestle him on, music is not. This has to be something he likes and enjoys, not something we force on him.

But I knew he had some musical gene--inherited from DH since I certainly don't have any talent in that area. Barley likes to make up riffs on the keyboard, and does so even more, now that we have a real piano in the house. He loves it when DH practices on the keyboard, enjoying the background music so much he'll come in and give him an unexpectedly random hug or kiss on the cheek. The music just makes him...happy.

He copies any tune his brother sings. And with music being such a big part of DH's life, he's anxious to share this with both the boys. Teddy is easy--he is naturally interested in anything and everything. With him, the challenge is FOCUS. Barley is a tougher nut to crack. He often makes up his mind against things, and refuses to even try.

Last winter I committed the major sin of signing him up for basketball against his wishes. Ultimately, he had a great time--so long as I was not watching him. If I looked away, and only watched out of the corner of my eye, he would relax and have fun. But if he caught me paying attention, fugeddaboudit! He would glare at me in anger, sulk, and stop listening to the coach. I brought my knitting with me and pretended to be engrossed in the sock pattern.

The next year he AND his brother participated enthusiastically in the same basketball league, and they pooled their Christmas money to buy a basketball hoop for the backyard. In the end, Barley loved basketball--even though he did not want to try it initially. But the resentment from him about being forced into it was hard to overcome.

Not wanting to make the same error with piano lessons, we've been stalking Barley on the music thing. DH bought kids piano books online, and just left them lying around the house for Barley to find. He propped one up on the piano stand, all innocent--open to page 1, but made no reference to it at all--not even the many times they were sitting on the piano bench together playing. (Side note, I hate that formal music education in CA doesn't start until grade 4, and even then is only for 3 months--totally inadequate!)

Last week, Barley finally took the bait. He read the picture instructions showing where middle-C was, and started playing. He followed the 3 first steps on his own; matching the numbered keys in the book to the keyboard, and then mapping them to the musical notations on the page. Within 15 minutes, he was reading the music (OK, only 3 notes worth, but it is a start!), and even BRAGGED to his brother about it on the ride to school, humming ... c, d, E, e, d, C, D, E, C, even SKIPPING a note! Yay!

We're so smart, outplotting a 7-year old...

Feeling better

2009-06-01T21:00:00.000-07:00

I don't know what to credit with the turnaround in my mood. This past week I didn't blog much, because I was just too darn tired/grumpy.

Could have been delayed exhaustion from a really intense month of work/home life combined. Could have been hormonal. Could have been my immune system fighting off some cold or infection--there is certainly enough germ power coming home each day through our kids.

Anyway, I don't know whether it was the early nights of sleep last week, or the flow of brain chemicals correcting itself, or maybe the full body massage Saturday morning, but something has shifted and suddenly the world is a happy place again. Birds are singing, the sun is shining, all is right with the universe.

Thank goodness!

Loving discouragement

2009-05-31T18:58:00.001-07:00

We spent the bulk of the day melting in the heat watching flag football. Both of our boys are healthy, both run really fast, and both have high energy levels, as witnessed by the constant chaos in our house.

Barley ran in a touchdown the length of the field today, and is a valiant addition to his team. Sharing his brother's high energy level, he has the added benefit of good ball handling skills.
He also has a strong aggressive streak. While it is certainly a problem at home, and occasionally at school, this natural aggression serves him well on the field. He doesn't shy away from all the kicking in soccer, and he will charge into a wall of other players to get a basketball or grab a football flag.

Teddy, on the other hand, used to keep a safe 2-foot distance between himself and the soccer ball at all times. He would trail after it when an opposing player had the ball, and he would actually BACK AWAY from the ball when it rolled toward him. The memory of getting hit in the chest or face stayed with him forever, and he could not play without thinking about the possible hurt.

So, rooting for Barley when he grabs a flag or makes a good play--easy.
Watching him play almost any sport--a lot of fun!
Encouraging him when his team is on a losing streak, or he is not playing as well--definitely the right thing to do.

Teddy on the other hand...

Sure, rooting for him when he plays well is still easy. But these moments are infrequent.
Watching him when he is goofing around instead of listening to coach, or simply avoiding the ball--not much fun at all.

And when he tells us he wants to quit a sport that he has shown little skill in, or has wasted most of the time spent at practice...well, that is where I am torn. Part of me feels like I should be boosting him up and telling him that if he works hard, he will get better.

But if it's not the right fit for him, encouraging him to stick with something he does not enjoy enough to put good effort into...well, that doesn't seem right either.

The really hard situation is when he says he wants to try a sport again, when he's not even showing me his best effort in the current season for that sport. We don't expect an all-star athlete--DH and I know we did not give him the genes for that. (Barley must have gotten lucky with some recessive sports-gene combination) We just want to know when we are getting sunstroke on the weekend, that there is really a good reason for us to be sitting there. Let's hope the play-offs go better than the season has so far.

Graduation

2009-05-26T21:33:00.000-07:00

I am going to brag on my nephew, TC. He graduated from Cooper Union School of Art today, and I really wish I could have been there with his proud parents! Cooper Union is an art, architecture, and engineering school in New York City, and they only take 65 students per year, and only half of those from outside New York. 100% of the students get scholarships. More information about the college is on this wiki page.

Once done with Cooper Union, he is spending the summer at Ox-Bow School of Art in Michigan. His future is looking bright, and I am looking forward to hearing about every new twist and turn he takes. We are all very, very proud of him!

CONGRATULATIONS, NEPHEW!!!

Post Party Depression

2009-05-24T21:33:00.000-07:00

Maybe it's the fact that Barley is sick. He has a perisistent cough, but no fever. His energy is low--he only annoyed his brother once today. Any time either of my sons gets quiet and falls asleep on the couch, I get WORRIED. Bouncing off the walls and driving us crazy is their natural state, so too much quiet means something is wrong.

Maybe it's the normal letdown after 2 intensely stressful weeks of work, with high stakes presentations galore, a customer onsite, and also a party at our house yesterday. All that adrenalin pumping, the short nights of sleep, and laser-tight focus on the NEXT THING I HAVE TO DO, might be causing some natural letdown in my body, now that the pressure is off. If I'd paid more attention in college biochemistry, I could tell you what chemical is missing. But I didn't.

Maybe it is because some of the people we don't see very often, didn't make the party this time. And while it was lovely to see the people who did show up, we still missed some of our friends.

Maybe it is because hosting parties are always much more work than the guests ever realize. If you're lucky, they are blissfully unaware of exactly how much of a disaster area your home usually is. So they wouldn't know the herculean effort that is required to make the place habitable, and at the same time plan a dinner large enough to feed up to 25 people (including one picky eater aka Barley), even though only 13 have actually confirmed. Of course good manners means pretending that your home always looks this good, so complaining about the huge effort to clean and get ready for the party would totally blow that cover story.

Maybe it is because I clicked on a link in a Facebook email from a friend, and found out that some evil spam virus forwarded an email to everyone in my Facebook account with the same evil link. One old friend notified me privately (how embarrassing!), and another friend called me and then warned all my friends with a warning not to click the link (that was even more embarrassing, but necessary).

Most likely, it is my monthly hormones, and when I check the calendar, it does seem possible this is some kind of cyclical funk, and I probably shouldn't read too much into all this. Unfortunately, this does not explain DH's matching melancholy. Sigh. I think I'll go to bed early tonight.

Procrastination: 1, Parenting Lesson: 0

2009-05-21T21:30:00.000-07:00

Teddy's "wax museum" display went really well today. He wrote up his notes this morning, put on his costume, and decided to try the accent (drawl) that DH coached him on for George W. Bush. DH was drafted to record some of the students on our digital camera, and as soon as I can figure out how, I'll post a link. That might take a while, though.

Anyway, compared to the other children participating, Teddy was loud (takes after his Mom, heh), clear, a little funny, and had a good speech ready. His teacher printed out a facsimile of the Presidential seal, which they taped to a music stand. Teddy made a "Mission Accomplished" sign and hung it behind him.

Given an audience, we should have known that Teddy would shine. And we are really happy for him. Even his principal, who is not his biggest fan (due to Teddy's frequent referrals for shenanigans at the wrong time) commented that his was the best one she'd seen. Teddy's teacher wants to use the video clip of Teddy as an example of "how this project should be done."

So, it is nice to see him do a good job, nice to see him enjoy the attention, and great to see this interesting project come to life in the cafeteria.

But there is a little parenting voice in our heads, that says Teddy has just learned how successful you can be even if you leave things to the last minute. And drop bombshells on your parents over dinner about needing a suit, tie, podium, and speech about the WRONG President George, the night before a project is due.

We did not go through extraordinary lengths to help him--he is a bright child who can absorb information quickly. He was able to get the concept and the speech fast, and the project was under his ideal circumstances. Not shy, our Teddy.

But we do worry about what he just learned from this. Hopefully our irritation and lectures last night had some impact and he will plan better next time. Hope springs eternal...

Nothing like the last minute

2009-05-20T21:06:00.000-07:00

So, hectic work week, lots of school activities wrapping up at year end, especially for the 4th graders.

Mission Project? Check
Science Fair? Check
Explorer's timeline? Check
Walkathon? Last week
Cub Scout graduation? Last night
Restaurant fundraiser? Tonight

And after childcare pickup tonight, Teddy FINALLY gives us the handmade invitation to the "Wax Museum" display at 9:30 tomorrow morning that his class is putting on in the cafeteria. The Wax Museum project is one in which each student picks a famous person to dress up as, and pretend to be. When visitors to the museum/cafeteria "activate" the pretend-wax statues, the students will give a short speech. Many students have picked cultural icons, like Bruce Lee, etc.

"How long have you been carrying around the invitation in your backpack?"

Teddy: "Oh, probably at least a week..."

DH and I both have work meetings in the morning, of course.

"So, since you aren't going to be Barack Obama now (having previously walked through the inappropriateness of blackface for a school project), what other famous person did you decide to depict?"

Teddy: "President George Bush"

Us: "Why George Bush?" DH and I are both taken aback. We're Liberals in our house with a capital L.

Teddy: "He was our first president!"

Ok, so you start to see the problem here. Upon further questioning, we discover that Teddy did at least, understand that he needed a suit. He thought he would just wear the one he wore to the weddings last summer. Umm, those weddings were 2 and 3 years ago, and he wore TUXEDOs that were rented...in NEW YORK. And the dress shoes he planned to wear...from the wedding 2 years ago. Odds of them still fitting--ZERO percent. Oh, and he needs a podium. STAT.

So, off to Goodwill after the fundraiser dinner, where we found a checked jacket with sleeves that only need to be pinned up 5 inches. He has dress slacks, white shirt, tie already from the choir concert earlier this year. And this young boy, whose feet outgrow socks while I am still knitting them, will wear my black oxfords. They are still too big on him, but look a lot better than his sneakers for this costume.

OK, now for that short speech. DH is the history/politics buff in the house. He runs Teddy through a quick summary of who George Bush really is (NOT the guy who chopped down the cherry tree, honey...) and has him write out sound bites for the wax museum. Teddy won't be doing a stellar job, but he will have something to say and wear that looks reasonable.

I guess we'll be making a podium in the morning...

SIGH. It is a good thing school is almost done for the summer. Can't take much more of this.

Background music for my recorded training

2009-05-19T22:01:00.000-07:00

Note to self: Put a note on the piano when doing 8:00am trainings from home.

I was in the middle of a training session to 31 coworkers this morning, when a lovely chord drifted through my closed office door. Usually, it is not a problem for the boys to play on the piano in the morning while getting ready for school. But usually, I am not delivering live training from my home office. And usually the training is not being recorded for posterity at the same time.

The music is not audible on the recording, thank goodness. I have my note on the closed piano keyboard for tomorrow's training session.

Random piano riffs

2009-05-17T19:35:00.000-07:00

Well, in the 48 hours since the piano's arrival, I have not been home much. All day scrapbooking event, evening play tickets, and a planned multi-family outing to Great America have kept us all running. Have I mentioned I am seriously booked at work and wondering how on earth I am going to get all that I need to done while still sleeping more than 3 hours per night? I am a bit stressed.

Meanwhile, the piano remains an attraction in our living room. DH was awoken on Saturday morning by our youngest playing random bits in different octaves. Teddy has wandered over and tried to remember some songs he learned in the 2 keyboard classes he took at the community center. DH has ordered some John Thompsons and Teaching Little Fingers piano books for kids. And DH woke up our oldest child at midnight attempting to master the chords for "Bridge over Troubled Waters".

Even tonight, when I have shuttered myself in the home office to try to get ahead of this massive pile of work, I can hear chords through the door. And it is pleasant--much like the sound of birds in the morning waking you up a minute before your alarm clock.

I am fairly noise-sensitive. Loud sounds bother me more than anyone else in my household, as does repetitive sound, and overlapping sound from different sources. Music has not been a big part of my life, and I think I could spend days alone in silence and be quite content. So, the decision to get a piano was a big one, with some trepidation on my part. While I applauded Barley's interest in the electronic keyboard, I always had the option to request that he put on headphones. And the keyboard has a volume dial.

The piano, on the other hand, does not have any controls, other than the rules we put in place. No headphones, no volume dial, no on/off switch, no batteries to remove, and no lock. (There is one, but no key). Would the musical exploration in the afternoons (when school is out), drive me to abandon my hard-earned work-at-home option? Would I drive into the office more often, where I might find an isolated desk to work at?

Well, so far, it is working out beautifully. I find I can tune out the piano music more easily than the keyboard sound. When I do take a break to just let my mind wander, the notes playing in the background are pleasant rather than intrusive. Hopefully this will continue to be our experience.

Wake up call

2009-05-16T17:00:00.000-07:00

Teddy: Mom! You need to come quick, Barley is crying!
Mom: What happened? Why is he crying?
Teddy: (sigh) Because I punched him...

Welcome to the weekend.

Highs and lows

2009-05-15T23:00:00.000-07:00

Well, we've gone and done it now. Bought an upright piano from a church downtown last week--it was delivered today. I suppose this means someone around here should learn how to play it. Once my 7-year old arrived home, I observed that the piano is much kinder to new musicians than the violin is. Even not knowing what you are doing, randomly hitting keys sounds kinda sweet.

The violin, on the other hand, screeches like a bat being tortured, causing one's mother to yell at you to STOP practicing! I blame this childhood experience with why I don't play anything well today. Couldn't be because I was too lazy to practice...

DH was playing some random bits while the kids played upstairs and I was working in the home office. When he stopped playing for a few minutes, Barley asked him why he stopped. "Oh, I'm not really playing, Barley. I don't really know what I am doing" Barley's response was "Well, you are really good at not knowing what you are doing, because it sounds nice. Could you play some more?" The really striking part is that Barley tore himself away from playing video games to have this pleasant conversation with his Dad. See, there is a sweet little boy in there someplace past all that anger...

Speaking of which, I got to see some of that later in the day. We had signed the boys up for an evening childcare center, and they picked out a video game to bring with them. When we arrived, we were reminded that their policy had changed--games from home were no longer allowed. Barley was extremely disappointed. Since we were in a public setting, he was working hard not to display it. However, I could tell by the way his shoulders slumped, his neck angled, and his avoidance of eye contact, how upset he was really was.

Usually, I give the boys a hug and a kiss and reminder to behave before leaving. I was able to collect my hug from Teddy, but knew from past explosions that to interact with Barley in any way would only overload his emotions. I would not get my hug or kiss, and more likely, he would lash out at the person "bothering" him for causing all the ills of the world. I was happy he was not physically acting out, but I was still a little sad when I left them.

Luckily, the Star Trek movie was GREAT. Exciting enough to get my mind off dropoff, and interesting enough that I want to go see it again soon.

Upon pickup from childcare, Barley was in the midst of another pre-explosion, as he was dealing with a child who was hogging the computer games. He handled it well, telling the teacher instead of reacting physically. We praised him at home, and gave him points on his behavior chart for controlling his anger.

As soon as we were done talking, he asked to play a little riff on the new piano. We let him, and then he went to bed with his brother with no resistance. Perhaps the piano will unlock more than just musical talent in this child.

Barley gardener returns

2009-05-14T23:26:00.000-07:00

As summer approaches, my wee gardening helper has been slacking in his duties. When I asked him over the weekend if he would like to water the garden, his response was, "I thought they looked dry. I told Dad he should water them, but it looks like he forgot".

When I tried to lure him out with the opportunity to wreak violence on aphids, my aphid-hunter looked up briefly from his video game, and said, "Umm, no thanks".

I planted one of the Earthboxes we got with a replacement tomato plant (our first one is all wilted and looks terminal), but could not entice either of my gardening helpers to get interested in the contents of the second one.

So, today, on our way OUT the door to cub scouts, he of course wanted to water the plants RIGHT THEN. I managed to persuade him to put down the watering can, and we would do it when we got home. I figured he would forget by then.

Well, he didn't. We filled the can halfway, and he sloshed water around the strawberry plants enough to dampen the earth. I made a mental note to water after him anytime he tells me he is done, as he did not water the blueberry bushes in the center, nor is half a can enough for all the plants. But he was proud and enthusiastic, and it was nice to have my little gardener back for a few minutes. He even inspected the rose bush, which is blooming like mad, and declared the lacewings must be doing their jobs, because he did not see any aphids on there!

We've managed to pluck a few teeny tiny red strawberries from the front. They were sweet, but about the size of raisins. I am hoping they will get bigger over time. There is one blueberry ripening also. I removed the flowers as they bloomed, as blueberry bushes do better if you force them to just grow roots their first 2 years. However, 2 buds got by me, and I thought we would see how they come out. Something must have gotten hungry, because one of them is missing now.

My favorite use for a Wii remote

2009-05-13T17:30:00.000-07:00

I live in a house full of video game players. I think they consider themselves "Gamers", and they range in age from 7 to 40-something. When I am feeling grumpy about all the screens blaring around the house, however, the word "addicted" crosses my mind, and sometimes my lips.

Now, I know not all video games rot your brain out. There is some research that indicates that some gameplaying time, spent in the more challenging, multi-layered problem-solving types of games do actually develop some critical thinking and reasoning skills. But I suspect the amount of video-gaming that goes on in this house is more than is required to gain those benefits.

As much as I was concerned about the entrance of the Wii in the house, I would support the arrival of Wii fitness, as there is potential to get us moving. The few occasions when I have been persuaded to play Wii Tennis or Bowling have been fun. And sweaty. Sweaty fun--I like that.

As a woman of many interests, though, I have lots (and lots and lots) of hobbies. They mostly include fabric or fiber, but also some electronics as I write and explore other blogs and even venture into social networking. There are so many other things I have to do, and so much that I want to do, that I can always come up with 10 better things to do than play a video game. Give me a choice between video games and reading a good book, and I will tell you--the book wins.

Which brings me to my favorite use for a Wii remote. With the silicon jacket on (the one that minimizes brain damage if you whack your neighbor while playing Wii tennis), the Wii remote is the perfect size and weight to hold my paperback book open while I am reading and knitting. Now, THAT's handy!

Science as entertainment

2009-05-11T19:26:00.000-07:00

Well, we always knew Teddy was destined to be a comedian. His laughter has been filling hearts with joy ever since he was a baby. Honestly, and I am not just saying this because I'm his mother (well, maybe a little bit), but he had the most infectious laugh as a baby. And he had a very well developed sense of humor. He found the oddest things hysterically funny, and also loved to get the attention of anyone and everyone.

Trying to feed him in a busy restaurant was impossible, as he would crane his head and actively try to get the attention of any adult walking by. This was tough enough when we spoon-fed him in his high chair, as he got whiplash from trying to catch the eye of people walking behind him. Never mind when he was still nursing.

Anyway, he has been sharpening his comedic skills all year. His teacher seems pretty tolerant, and DH's classroom observation ranks Teddy behind 5 other boys who are way more disruptive. Somewhat reassuring when we learn that Teddy is actually campaigning to be voted "Class Clown". He loves to write and tell funny stories, and this need for attention has already gotten him in trouble with our humorless new Principal.

He turned in his science fair project today. A lightweight piece on spinning a hardboiled vs. raw egg. He hypothesized the difference in behavior between them in initial spinning speed (the hardboiled egg is faster), and what happens after they are stopped (the raw one keeps spinning when you let go). Here is a great link to a video showing these differences. Actually, that's a great physics for kids site overall. I also just found this link about the eggs rising if spun hard enough. We will have to test that ourselves to validate.

Each student did a practice oral presentation in class before 3 student judges. They were to be rated on speaking, posture, length of time (5 minutes) and entertainment value (how interesting was it). Hoo boy. That last measure was just asking for it, really.

Teddy spoke for 3 minutes, and was out of things to say to fill the 5 minute target. At the encouragement of friends shouting, "Juggle!", he decided this would be a good idea. He had a hardboiled egg, and a raw egg that we had carefully packed for his demonstration. And yes, readers, he juggled 2 eggs in class, for 2 minutes, meeting the 5 minute required time. Of course, he dropped one. Of course, he dropped the raw one. Yes it broke. Luckily, he had put his plate down on the floor, "just in case".

Well, I suppose every comedian has to start somewhere. Raw egg at the 4th grade science fair seems as good a spot as any. And while I am not sure how he was rated on the other scales, he proudly reported he got a 5 out of 5 for "entertainment value". That's my boy!

Happy Birthday, er, Happy Mother's Day!

2009-05-10T11:32:00.000-07:00

While I bask in the glow of Mother's Day, and my children attempt to make up for yesterday's less than stellar behavior at Scout-O-Rama, I wanted to share this little funny tidbit.

After consuming my waffle breakfast (YUM!), and enjoying the hugs, apologies, and handmade gifts, I opened a card from Barley made at daycare. The cover had a pretty picture of willow buds, and inside, written carefully in colored ink, it says,

"Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to you,
Happy Birthday to SERE,
Happy Birthday to you!"

Huh?

On the left side of the card, I recognize Barley's scrawled "Happy Mother's DAY" message. It seems there was a stock of supposedly blank cards that they chose from at daycare.

I asked Barley if he had noticed there was already writing on the card when he picked it, and he said, "Yeah, but I just used the blank side!". Too funny--and such a kid perspective.

Here it is for your enjoyment:

To top off this celebration of ME, thanks to Julie Kang's blog, I was able to nominate myself for "Mother of the Year". This is a cute video, and you can personalize it for your own loved ones by clicking the button on the right.

Last Ballet

2009-05-09T23:18:00.000-07:00

We saw our last Ballet for a while. We've had season tickets the last 2 years, purchased when Silicon Valley was humming, our house was worth more than our mortgage, and we were both fully employed. We also had season passes to San Jose Rep, and American Musical Theater of San Jose (AMTSJ). Yes, we were living high on the hog for a while there!

Unfortunately, AMTSJ declared bankruptcy mid-season, making our remaining tickets worthless, and eliminating the need to make a decision about renewal for next year. With the economy as it is, we had to limit ourselves to one season renewal anyway.

San Jose Rep won out over the Ballet. We have enjoyed the ballet more than DH ever expected to, but theater is our first love. We almost downgraded our Rep tickets, but decided to stay in our great seats after the stunning Kite Runner show last month. It really left a lasting impression, and reminded us why we love theater so much. The Rep is also a small theater, with a small stage, so even the balcony seats have a great view.

The Center for Performing Arts, however, is so large, that just 16 rows from the front seems like a mile away. Both the San Jose Ballet and AMTSJ performed there. The stage is very deep, and even today, in the front row middle (we are really going to miss these seats), some of the dancing was staged a bit far back.

So, in farewell, I am listing below some of the people and things we are going to miss about our Ballet season tickets:

Being in the front row in the middle--these were AWESOME tickets. I don't know how we lucked out, but like George Costanza from Seinfeld who did not want to move his car after getting the perfect parking space--this was probably half the reason we renewed last year.
Getting to know the dancers after 2 seasons. Some we even recognize from when we lived in Cleveland, when this ballet troupe was called the San Jose-Cleveland Ballet.
Karen Gabay, Prima Ballerina, who has been dancing with this troupe since 1980! Do the math folks, she's been dancing professionally for over 29 years!!! We had seen her in Cleveland.
Alexsandra Meijer, Principal Dancer, who is our favorite, and also happens to look like a friend from my office.
Maria Jacobs-Yu, Principal Dancer, who cannot seem to ever stop smiling. Like seriously, we think her face would break if she tried to frown.
Rudy Candia, soloist, who looks exactly like Agent Cooper from Twin Peaks.
Kaleena Opdyke, who looks like Agent Sculley from the X-Files.
A certain ballerina, who I won't name, but who SWEATS rivers in every performance, and must have a personal toweller waiting in the wings. She comes out dry for each act, and is covered in shiny sweat within a few leaps.
Ramon Moreno, Principal Dancer, who was a superb Puck in Midsummer Night's Dream this season. This show was the first ballet we ever saw together in Cleveland, so it was lovely to see it again this year before our subscription ran out.
Tiffany Glenn, Preston Dugger, Daniel Gwatkin, Maximo Califano, Maykel Solas, and Seth Parker.
Seeing male dancers dressed in Greek soldier costumes, looking all tough from the waist up, but wearing tights and leaping across the stage like gazelles.
Seeing the gorgeous costumes! Sigh...I am really going to miss the dancing in those floaty, pretty dresses. If I had some dresses like that, I like to think I would also move as gracefully. I always felt like such a little princess when I did ballet as a little girl. Watching ballet brought some of those memories back--that was fun.

What we will NOT miss about our season passes:

A certain neighbor who ate green onions before every show. DH and I would switch seats at intermission to get relief from the bad breath. Ugh!

Rough camping

2009-05-08T00:04:00.000-07:00

Well, so what exactly happened last weekend to the older males of my household?

Barley and I picked up litter in the rain, and the day did not turn out so bad in the end. It was actually quite fun!

Where were Teddy and DH during this? Sleeping in? Enjoying a relaxing day at home in front of various electronic screens while Barley and I slogged miserably through the rain and muck to set up our tent in the pitch dark? Oh wait, no, that wasn't us--that was THEM.

So, this story starts several weeks back when we first heard mention of Camporee. Our family has gone camping in the past, and after our first disastrous trip, discovered we actually enjoy it. We have come a long way as a family to being able to commune with nature. Sure, it's wimpy car camping at a site that stocks ice and firewood for sale, but we enjoy it. We even woke up to what sure looked like rain last summer (Dang! we left the shoes out last night!). Turned out to be "forest condensation" and it ended by late afternoon, allowing the summer sun to dry us all out before it got dark.

But Camporee was not going to be car camping. This is the BOY Scouts, and the Troop associated with our CUB Scout pack had invited the oldest Cubs (Webelos) to go with them. They would need to carry their equipment, sleeping bag, pack with external frame WITH them by hiking from the parking lot. There would not be parking right at the campsite itself. DH was strongly "invited" to come along as an additional chaperone, since the Webelos Den Leader was also involved at the Pack level. DH agreed (being the great Dad that he is), and found himself concerned about how long this hike would actually be.

Rain was forecast for the weekend of the trip, but apparently this was to be a "rain or shine" event. Hey, they're Boy Scouts--they're tough, right? Well, let's just say there is a big difference between boys at age 13 and boys at age 10...

Departure from the carpool meeting place was later than expected, and it was an hour drive to get to the Camporee location. There was a long line to get parked, and everything had to be offloaded so the boys could hike to the site. Apparently there was also some confusion about which sites were assigned to which Troops. There were several hundred boys there, and a LOT of chaos. By the time they'd hiked their stuff in, and the one lone truck that was delivering the rest of the supplies arrived at their site, it was VERY dark, and VERY late. And it was pouring rain. And cold. And muddy. It was 11pm before the boys could crawl into their tents and START unpacking sleeping bags and getting changed into dry clothes.

Due to scouting regulations, DH could not share a tent with anyone other than his own child. The plan was for the boys to share tents, and DH had his own on the other side of the site. He relayed to me how Teddy came looking for him Friday night, drenched to the skin, one shoe missing, crying that he wanted to go home. This about broke my heart when I heard it, and that was 2 days later when everyone had survived.

Two BOY SCOUT Troops had actually pulled out of the event. Got all the way to the parking lot, saw the chaos and the pouring rain, and peeled out for home. One reportedly claimed they were a "city" troop and didn't do rain.

Unfortunately for Teddy, leaving was not an option. They had carpooled up with the other boys, and DH did not even have a car with him. He sat Teddy in his lap, comforted him as best he could, and promised Teddy that he would get through this, and be glad before the end of the weekend that they had stayed. DH was hoping like heck that the rain would let up in the morning and not make a liar of him. Teddy reported that his friend E was also crying in the tent, and all the 10-year old Webelos were having a hard time. (My heart broke a second time when I heard that. Teddy at least had his Dad along to turn to, but E and the others had come on their own, so there was no adult for them to seek comfort from. Not that DH wouldn't gladly have hugged all of them, but that's just not the kind of relationship they have.)

Anyway, they did stay the night. And the sun came out in the morning, and the day full of activities improved morale as expected. Teddy told DH by 1:00pm that he was already glad they had stayed. They did archery, axe-throwing (I don't think I knew about this before they went--probably just as well), string burning contest, knot-tying--wherein Teddy tied 3 perfect square knots!), campfire skits, etc., etc.

Unfortunately, the rain came back on Sunday morning, as they were packing up to go home. At least this time, they had daylight to work with. Once they arrived home, they both took HOT showers immediately, and showed no inclination to leave the house unless absolutely forced to.

Barley and I had missed them while they were gone. But not as much as they missed being home, I think.

The original camping story

2009-05-07T23:03:00.000-07:00

Our first camping trip was a Disaster, with a capital D. We were absolute greenhorns. We borrowed camping equipment from friends, not being entirely committed to the idea.

We got the cliched slanted campsite that had no flat space in it and every bit of food we put on the picnic table rolled off and into the dirt. Barley at age 18 months was absolutely dirt-phobic. He would have an utter meltdown at the slightest speck of dirt on his hand, and wail until I wiped his hand clean. Given that we were camping IN dirt, this made for a challenging time. Birds pecked all our sandwich bread, and the corn on the cob I was trying to grill fell into the coals.

Everyone else had these lovely Coleman campstoves that just TURNED ON, but I had borrowed from a hiker friend. His so-called campstove looked like 3 paperclips put together, and we never managed to get it lit the whole trip. This link shows a similar style camping stove, thought not the exact brand we borrowed. We learned later that we needed to pump the fuel into the hose before attempting to light it--didn't know that at the time. Fortunately, more experienced friends took pity on us and fed us through the weekend.

On the upside, the tent worked fine, and the playpen we brought for Barley (age 1.5) took up 60% of the interior space. DH, Teddy, and I squeezed in all snug in the remaining space of the tent. The river running through the site had a little beach to explore, and a playground for the young ones.

We also got to witness Teddy's first older kid idolization. The older brother of a playgroup friend caught Teddy's attention, and he followed this boy around all weekend. Teddy was almost 5, and the "boy in the yellow shirt" as he was called (Teddy has trouble with names) was 8, I think? Anyway, upon witnessing him change a bike tire, Teddy said to me admiringly, "He is a very wise man". He invited the boy in the yellow shirt to our site, and plied him with fruit, and McDonald's toys. It was very sweet to watch.

Now, the boy in the yellow shirt was very familiar with this campground, and knew all the fun places to check out. His yellow shirt got progressively more brown as the weekend went on. At one point, he made a statement that perfectly summed up the attitude we all came to adopt. He pointed at his absolutely filthy shirt, and said, "In the language of dirt, THIS is how much FUN I am having!!!" He was having a LOT of fun, let me tell you!

So, we did enjoy the trip, despite all the stress (and in hindsight, despite my raging hormones). We went on the same camping trip the next year, but opted to pay through the nose to stay in one of the onsite cabins instead. Fridge, microwave, real beds, and flush toilets in the middle of the night kept us sane until the boys got old enough for us to try tent camping again. Which we have, and now enjoy. We even upgraded to a bigger tent last year, when the boys complained that the queen size air mattress did not leave enough room for their sleeping bags. Now we all have inflatable mattresses. We believe in our creature comforts when camping.

It woke me up

2009-05-07T07:00:00.000-07:00

Meant to blog this yesterday, but forgot. Work's been a bit busy. I was woken up at 3:00 on Tuesday morning when the house was shaken (not stirred). This site lists the quake as a 3.3 about 20 miles away on May 5 at 3:00am PST. Worried briefly about how we would get the boys out if the house fell on all of us. Then rolled over and went back to sleep.

3.3

16 km ( 10 mi) E of Seven Trees, CA

Park Cleanup and a nice surprise

2009-05-04T22:19:00.000-07:00

Had plans this past weekend to pick up litter with some cub scouts, despite the forecasted rain. Expected to spend a dull hour in the rain picking up muddy cigarette butts with a grumbling child (bribe in place before arrival). Instead, the gray clouds cleared and we had a mild day with sunshine peeking through the clouds. The park was in good condition, so there was not much litter to pick up, except for teensy tiny wrappers under the picnic tables. We found more by the roadside, and after 40 minutes of exploring and combing the area, we had a couple of bags worth, including a fishing rod--and a dead turtle.

Mostly, the kids were able to explore the fields and pond--showing each other the baby turtles, ducks, and one Stellars Bluejay. Our gracious guide gave a complete educational program--a delightful surprise! A presentation he normally does for class field trips of 40 schoolchildren at a time was very cozy with 5 children and 4 adults.

We walked to a nearby pond, and learned all the turtles inhabiting it were actually abandoned pets, who often bring microbes with them that kill off the previous inhabitants. We also saw a fountain that is believed to have been dug by Santa Teresa herself to save the Ohlone Indian children from an unknown illness. It still flows today, and devout Catholics occasionally come to be cured.

After the conservation duty was completed, we were treated to a short film about Indian creation lore, when Coyote stole fire from Turtle and brought it back to Man. (One of the moms thought this sounded like a Pokemon battle--got us all giggling).

The boys practiced roping a wooden bull, and learned about early colonial rancho life. We saw the 4H hen project. The adults were more taken aback than the boys when the ultimate fate of the chickens as drumsticks, nuggets, and down comforters were discussed. And our guide showed how much of the structures around the park had been built by Boy Scouts as part of their Eagle service project. The Cubs were appropriately impressed.

Quite a delightful outing--much better than the dreary duty we were expecting. And way less exciting than the camping trip that DH and Teddy went on over the weekend. More on that in a few days when I have more time to write.

What the haybox?

2009-04-30T22:26:00.000-07:00

After the rave reviews of my chicken soup (Teddy asked where I got the great recipe from), I was searching online for more thermal cooker recipes. Yes, I have slow cooker cookbooks, but I wanted to see what else was out there.

I found this cool site today, and got immersed in various methods of fuel efficient and fuel-free cooking. I've read about solar cookers before, and ever since hearing the phrase, "Hot enough to fry eggs on the sidewalk", I've been fascinated by the idea of cooking with the sun. My only venture in this area has been making sun tea using a big clear glass jar on days when the temp goes over 100 F. My sister-in-law introduced me to that practice--and it's wonderful on a hot summer day.

But honest to gosh cooking of real food--using NO energy at all? Way cool concept! I found these pages today that I am itching to try some weekend when we are not running around like maniacs with chores and kid activities (my calendar says this should occur on the next blue moon when Venus enters the house of whatever...)

What is a solar cooker?
Make a solar cooker with the mylar windshield reflector from the car
Cool kids project cooking a hot dog in a Pringles can (OK, don't bug me about the junk food nature of this project--I think my kids would be into it)

There are tons of other kids solar cooker projects on Google, check 'em out!

Back at that first site, I'd never heard of a haybox before, but now I have! DH was wondering what was really the difference between our new fancy-schmancy thermal cooker, and putting one of our regular pots inside one of our ice coolers. My first thought was, well, would styrofoam melt from the heat? After reading about hayboxes, and how they were used during WWII to conserve cooking oil, I think DH's initial instinct was right. We could use our cooler the same way, if we had enough insulating material to fill up all the air, and some mylar to keep the hot pot from melting it. We may keep an eye open at the summer yard sales to find something to experiment with. Of course, an old cooler stuffed with styrofoam pellets is not as nice to bring to a pot-luck as our thermal cooker, but it would be fun to test out.

In order to put a rational spin on my obsession with fuel-free or low fuel cooking, I have 3 good reasons, allowing me to deny my OC tendencies...

We live in California, and someday a big earthquake may cut off our access to fuel for a few days, so cooking with the sun would be a handy skill
We like to go camping in the summer, and this could save from using up so many of those little fuel cans. Plus frees people from babysitting the food cooking on open flame, so we can just play in the river instead
It's better for the environment--less fuel burned, less pollution, less drilling needed, etc.

Now, still looking for the perfect dessert recipe...

Chicken soup for the soul

2009-04-29T21:21:00.001-07:00

Well, that worked out all right.

We got supermarket rotisserie chicken (aren't these the best invention ever?!) for dinner, and I picked up an extra to make soup. I am a major soup fan, and the only soup my husband likes is chicken noodle.

I pretty much grew up on Campbell's, and even my favorite soup buffet restaurant chain has only so-so chicken noodle soup. In fact, it actually reminds me a lot of my mother's homemade chicken soup, heh. Let's just say, mild? Does that sound less deprecating than bland? Add enough salt, and you'll sense some flavor there.

Anyway, I've been looking forward to trying chicken broth in the new thermal cooker. I have a friend who simmers her meat bones all night on low to get great soup stock. I got her one of these pots as a housewarming gift, to help her not burn her house down while she is sleeping! And I know I could probably have done this with our crockpot, but was just not motivated enough.

In the interest of putting the thermal pot through its paces, I figured I would try making chicken soup. We removed most of the meat from the second chicken, reserving that for the actual soup on day 2. At 10:00pm last night, I put the 2 chicken carcasses into the inner pot of the thermal cooker; bones, skins, drippings and all. Add in the sacrificial diced onion, carrot, celery and parsley. A little salt and pepper, bring the whole thing to a boil for 10 minutes, and into the outer pot it goes. Both inner and outer lid down, and time for bed.

In the morning, the smell of the broth was HEAVENLY. It was still very warm, but knowing I was stuck on conference calls for the next 4 hours, I took the inner pot and heated it back to a boil for another 10 minutes, and popped it back into the casing. At lunchtime, I strained the whole thing and refrigerated the broth to aid in fat removal. Next time I will skip the drippings and skin to reduce the fat content.

Nearing suppertime, I reheated the broth, adding water to increase liquid volume, added the meat reserved from last night, new sliced carrots, celery and onion. Brought it all to a boil, and finally added the noodles. YUMMMM!

We will definitely be trying this again! My husband and older son kept making mmmmm sounds with every sip. Barley, of course, hating wet food, had his chicken and noodles dry, thank you.

Hybridized Dragons

2009-04-28T21:00:00.000-07:00

Barley had a rough night on Thursday last week. I don't even recall what brought on the major melt-down, but minutes after arriving home from work, and also minutes away from departure time for cub scouts, he was locked in the bathroom, refusing to come out.

Although I am his cub scout den leader, we have rotated who leads each den meeting, so I was not required to host the event this week. Just as well, since we were clearly not going to make it. Could I drag him out of the bathroom and make him go? Probably. But he would be a total pill while there and I saw no real benefit to subjecting the other boys to his fit.

He eventually calmed down and came out. We talked a little about emotions and mood, and he was at least able to articulate that he was still in a horrible mood and didn't want to go anyway, even if we could catch some of the meeting.

He instead started drawing a family of dragons. There was one for each of us in the family.
He was describing them to me as he drew: Mommy, your dragon has SIX wings, and only two legs. My dragon has only two wings, and FOUR legs. I am going to draw everyone as a different type of dragon.

I joked with him that if I was the Mommy dragon, and he was my son dragon, shouldn't we look the same? Or a little alike? (Note: Barley is my virtual twin, not only in appearance, but temperament)

He looked at me quite seriously and said, "Mommy, my dragon is adopted!"

I had to chuckle a bit, as we have talked about adoption a lot in our house. DH and I were both adopted, and we find it completely amazing that the boys look alike and have any resemblance to either of us. Growing up in families where no one looks like anyone else makes the whole idea of genetics pretty cool. Like our family (and every biological one) is some offshoot of the original Mendel pea plant experiment in gene theory.

On a separate note, his use of color is telling. I wonder if there is any real significance there, or he just ran out of time before he had to go to bed.

Where the devil are my shoes?

2009-04-27T21:30:00.000-07:00

My youngest child thought it would be fun to wear my brown flats across the kitchen, so he could hear the clop-clop-clop sound they make as they fall off his foot to bang on the laminate flooring.

"How can you stand all this noise?" he gleefully shrieks, as he proceeds to bang around my kitchen. "Do you just walk like this to keep them quiet?" as he shuffles forward like you would slide a pair of mule slippers to keep them from falling off.

He spends several more minutes sliding and clopping and tripping around, delighting in my plain brown shoes, and it would all be much cuter and sweeter if I had any idea where said shoes ended up when he finally tired of them!

My shoes (and slippers) tend to get strewn around the house, one shoe upstairs in the bathroom, the other shoe downstairs hidden under a couch. This despite the fact that I took them off when I came in and put them neatly on the stairs to go up.

Searching for my shoes reminds me of something I used to do when I was little. When my mother picked me up at my sitter's after work, I would try to prolong my stay by hiding my shoes under the couch. If I delayed long enough, I thought I could stay for dinner instead of going home.

The babysitting family was a large one, with a stay-at-home mom who was a WONDERFUL cook. She would start cooking at 5pm, an hour before I had to go home. My mother, in contrast, was a competent cook, but not into variety or seasonings.

Alas for my plans to grub a free dinner, my babysitters figured out my scheme, and made sure my shoes were by the front door for pickup. Darn! And now my 7-year old is hiding my shoes. Must be karma...

Artichoke weekend

2009-04-26T23:00:00.000-07:00

I was fortunate to score some artichokes from a friend's family, and pondered what to do with them. I am new to artichokes, as they were not served in my home growing up, and so I am on a quest to learn how to prepare and eat them.

I already knew what to do with the baby ones. The same friend's mother had taught me how to make a divine fried artichoke heart, which includes onion, garlic, egg, flour, etc. Delicious. I boiled a couple of the larger ones, and dipped the leaves in melted butter before scraping them in my teeth. That still left me some more, so I went looking for an artichoke soup recipe. I LOVE soup.

One friend laughed at the truth of this statement, as I started digging into my FOURTH bowl of soup at Sweet Tomatoes. For those of you not familiar with the chain, Sweet Tomatoes is a soup and salad bar restaurant, much like Fresh Choice, where everything is all you can eat. They always have 6 different soups ready, and I usually try more than half of them. Yum! Good luck finding any meat, though. Most of us fish big chunks of chicken out of the ever-present chicken-noodle soup if we are concerned about that.

Anyway, I had an unexpected day at home, since my youngest was homebound with a fever. Dosed with kiddie ibuprofen, he was happy watching TV or playing videos, and not much in the mood to do anything else. So, soup, why not?

Found a workable looking recipe. The main steps included:

Steam artichokes in chicken broth with sliced onions for 45 minutes
Take artichokes out and remove leaves, set aside
Remove and ditch choke, cut heart into pieces
Scrape pulp from artichoke leaves (OK, this part turned out to be REALLY tedious and time-consuming!)
Blend pulp, broth, and onions in food processor in small batches until smooth
Return all ingredients plus milk, salt, pepper, parsely, chives to pot & reheat

So, new recipe, and my first chance to use the immersion blender I got at Christmas. Oh, and the thermal cooker would come out again for the first 45 minutes of cooking time. Play with TWO new kitchen gadgets on the same new recipe? Score!!

So, that took up most of my day.

The soup turned out good, but I think I would have enjoyed it much more if I had been sitting in a restaurant on my butt, and it was brought to me on a platter with a white linen napkin. Totally not worth it now that I have a big pot of soup that no one in my house will eat except me. Guess we will see how well it freezes and defrosts!

The fried artichoke hearts came out well, and those I ate until I started to feel sick. Of course Barley's limited palate prevents him from even trying one, and DH is not interested as it is a healthy vegetable. C'mon, I even deep fried it for you, honey, and coated it with salt!

I had hopes that Teddy would join me, but he heard "artichoke heart", and since he did not know what that was, he thought I meant "armadillo heart" and got grossed out. Even though he could SEE the vegetable matter as I prepared it for frying, he couldn't bring himself to eat more than one. He said it tasted fine otherwise. Instead, he ate the carrots I threw in to use up the batter and oil. Good thing he knows what carrots are!

Boys and mud

2009-04-25T17:57:00.000-07:00

I would have thought playing with mud would be a 10-year old boy's dream homework assignment. Guess not.

"The Mission project" is apparently a standard 4th grade project here in California. Kids may opt to build a replica of a mission, visit a mission and report about it, or make an adobe brick. Teddy opted for the latter.

Teddy's dad helped him make the form for the adobe brick, using a picture we got from this PDF from New Mexico State University I found online. The local hardware store didn't have the right size lumber, so we made do with 2x4s. It's going to be a small brick, as the "standard" sizes can weigh over 30 lbs!

Then we followed these instructions from eHow for testing the soil to make sure our clay soil was the right kind of clay soil. It was.

So, form built--check. Right type of clay soil?--check. Now, where to find straw? Couldn't locate any, so I raided a neighbor's yard trimmings pile for long thin leaves, and we just used that.

Put dirt in bucket, add water, mix, add vegetable matter, load form, let dry. Simple, right?

Well, Teddy was a-moaning and a-groaning once we added the water. The consistency was, well, disgusting, ok. But he was much more disturbed by it than I expected. Kept talking about which animals play in the mud (pigs) and what comes out the back end of said animals.

We got the task done, but really, I enjoyed the process more than Teddy did.

I remember spending HOURS digging mud channels in my neighbor's backyard under her swingset. We had cities and lagoons, and yes, sometimes even some mud pies. We would be covered by the end of the afternoon, and it was a GREAT time.

What are today's kids coming to?

Barley vs. Smaug

2009-04-24T19:04:00.000-07:00

We've been reading Tolkien's The Hobbit to the boys at bedtime. There is a scene in the book where Bilbo first encounters the dragon Smaug, sitting on his hoard of gems and treasure. He steals 1 gold cup from the veritable mountain of stuff the dragon sleeps on, and of course, the dragon notices immediately!

A very similar scene played out at dinner the other night. Our boys each have their own "Goody Jar" that holds candy to be doled out slowly as dessert, following a balanced meal. Frankly, the bribe of a little sugar is about the only way to get Barley to eat vegetables of any kind.

Anyway, these separate jars are now replete with Easter candy; trophies from 2 different Easter Egg hunts. Some candy also came from the Easter bunny, who left a trail of foil wrapped chocolate eggs leading from the boy's bedroom to the living room, where their Easter baskets were hidden.

Barley noticed immediately that one of his Smarties candies was missing. Keep in mind, this is a jar FULL of tootsie rolls, chocolate eggs, and other sugar-laden treats. He insisted, however, that there were TWO smarties on the very top of his jar, and one was now missing. His ire was aimed at his brother, Teddy, who was eating Smarties taken from his own jar.

Further investigation into the matter confirmed the accuracy of Barley's accounting. Without identifying the guilty party, I will say it was a parental unit, but not me. Not that I am above stealing candy from a kid, I just happened to be innocent of this particular caper...

Truly, any dragon, no matter how young or how small, knows everything that is in his hoard. Burglars (hobbit or human) beware!

Same-Sex Marriage blog

2009-04-23T22:18:00.000-07:00

So, I've been haunting Facebook lately, and reconnecting with several old friends. It is amazing to find old college or high school friends and fast-forward 20+ years to learn how their lives have turned out. It feels like cheating to me, as if I am jumping to the middle of a novel to find out what happened next to the main character.

Anyway, I was sad to learn one old college friend has just lost his husband in the last month. His daily Facebook statuses document the emotional ups and downs of his grief. Very poignant.

It is strange, in some ways, because I haven't seen him since we graduated. He was this awkward, sometimes goofy theater major in my dorm, and although we all suspected it, he wasn't even fully out at the time I knew him. Suddenly, he is grieving his partner whom he spent more than a decade sharing a life with. It is like I just stepped through a time warp.

He wrote a great essay about same-sex marriage, and its impact when one spouse dies. Here is the link for those interested in reading it. He makes a good argument.

I want to marry my thermal cooker

2009-04-22T20:49:00.000-07:00

We have been testing a new kitchen device. A thermal cooker has joined the family, and a most welcome addition it is! My friend VI has been singing its praises for a while, so I finally took the plunge and got one for myself. These things are not cheap (and from what I read on the Amazon reviews, the cheap ones may not be that good).

What IS a thermal cooker, anyway, you ask? It is a cross between an Asian style rice cooker (the big fat round ones), and, I dunno, a thermos? Here's a link that decribes it well. I bought the 6-liter Tiger for myself, and the 4.77 for a single friend.

Ever since it arrived, we've been brainstorming ideas on how to use it, and we have already tried 2:

Corn on the cob: Boiled for 2 minutes, popped into the thermal cooker for 4 hours, and served nice and hot. Came out a bit on the mushy side, and I was actually surprised that the Betty Crocker instructions (yes, my cooking is that basic, that I have to look up how to boil corn!) actually say boil for 2 minutes, and let sit in hot water for 8-10 minutes more. So, maybe not the ideal recipe.

Beef Stew: Used my regular crockpot beef stew recipe, and added an additional cup of water as I was paranoid it might not be enough for the initial boiling. Boiled in the inner pot for 10 minutes, turned off heat, and popped the whole thing with lid into the Tiger for, hmmm, 9 hours. Meat was tender, fully cooked, and everything was soft. The carrots were a little firmer than they are coming out of the crockpot.

Now, part of the reason we are so excited about this, is that we love to go camping in the summer, but hot dogs and hamburgers gets a little old. We are always looking for ways to prep food ahead and cook something more interesting. We love our crockpot, but umm, no electricity while camping? And who wants to be stuck at the campsite babysitting beef stew for 5 hours? Besides, that would take a lot of fuel!

With this new thermal cooker, you have to cook for 15-20 minutes to get the thing going first (that is one downfall vs. crockpots--no babysitting at the start, just dump it in and forget about it). However, after the initial babysitting, you are done. The outer thermal casing retains the initial heat, and keeps it cooking while you go off and play. Nice. And not having to time the hot food perfectly is convenient too.

Other recipes soon to be tested: Pork & Sauerkraut, Zatarains jambalaya, and Korean Beef & Beansprout stew. Looking forward to it--YUM!

Kite Runner Premier in San Jose

2009-04-21T22:28:00.000-07:00

Heartbreaking, and haunting. And a tiny bit of hope at the end. We saw Kite Runner at the San Jose Rep a few weeks ago. And renewed our season tickets that night. We were going to anyway, but we were checking out the upper level seats trying to save some money--the economy has us all a bit nervous. But like every time before, the show left us stunned, and thinking about hard things in life, and how people make choices and grow beyond their mistakes. We want to be up close for all of it.

It was not an easy play to see. I think it helped a little that I knew the plot before going in. Being surprised by the major events would have been pretty emotional. I understand the movie is more intense in some ways, actually showing some of the trauma onscreen, rather than offstage.

This is not a large theater--most all the seats are pretty good. Get there a little early--there is a photo gallery display on the second floor. And you can click this link to download the study guide to read ahead, if the book itself is too much.

A friend recommended the book Three Cups of Tea as a more upbeat chaser to the play. Perhaps. Have your checkbook ready when you are done. And count your blessings--even in a bad economy we have it pretty good here.

Defies logic

2009-04-20T23:06:00.000-07:00

How is it, that the same child who has to be reminded ALL winter long to take his coat, and then grudgingly carries it over one arm even in the coldest weather (all right, it's California, so how cold can it really be?)... anyway, that same child, today--when it was sweltering in the morning as we left the house, put on a long-sleeved shirt and WORE the same fleece-lined raincoat he carried all winter. The temperature today hit 95, and there is a heat warning out for the area.

Report on how he spent his time at recess today:

Half the time I was drinking at the water fountain. Half of the other time, I was in the bathroom, and the other time I was standing in line waiting to go back in the classroom. It was HOT today!

Weather report says more of the same tomorrow.

We snuck in after bedtime and stole all Barley's long-sleeve shirts. Hah--that'll show him!

Barley vs red wiggler worms: picky eater smackdown!

2009-04-18T16:39:00.000-07:00

Barley only likes dry food. He will use a paper towel to dry off pasta, and has no qualms about using my cloth napkins to wipe brown sauce off chicken picked out of Chinese food. If he could get away with eating the pizza without the cheese, he would. Then he could more easily wipe off the oil and the sauce underneath, to render it the perfect beige food. You could describe Barley's diet as anti-Atkins. All carbs, nothing but carbs, skip the protein, veggies, and fruit, please.

The worms, on the other hand, prefer moist food. Vegetable refuse only, no meats or fats. Limited carbs, please, and eggshells and coffee grounds WITH filters thrown in are a treat. Worms also don't mind fruitflies, ants, and other vermin sharing their food.

Barley, in contrast, tolerates the presence of his brother at the same table, but don't even THINK about stealing a french fry, bro!

In summary:
Wet food? Worms, yes. Barley, no.
Vegetables? Worms, any kind. Barley, only carrots, cucumbers, corn, or broccoli.
Fruit? Worms, everything but citrus--peels welcome. Barley, only peeled apples and bananas.
Carbs? Worms, ok in small amounts. Barley, yes please, and nothing but please.
Meat? Worms, no. Barley, plain chicken, beef, hot dogs, meatballs, kielbasa.

Judge's ruling: while the worms have a wider variety of foods they will eat, I believe the worms are actually pickier eaters than my son. I have owned a food processor for 3 years, and never once used it. I had to pull it out this week to puree the worm food, before I nuked it, then froze it (to kill fruit fly larvae), then defrosted it. Heck, I don't work this hard to cook dinner for my family!

Frankly, I've been obsessing a bit about the worm tray. Haven't blogged every detail, since I think some readers are not that into vermiculture (almost sounds like a skinny noodle you'd serve with meatballs, doesn't it?). The primary angst is wondering if they are eating and thriving, since I can't ever seem to find any, even at night with a flashlight. Also, the fruitfly population is exploding, hence the need to start nuking the scraps I am putting out. Today, I checked out all the layers of the bins, and still could not find any adults in the working top tray. However, inspection of the lower tray exposed 3 juvenile worms immediately without poking around, so I am confident there are likely quite a bit more in there. Click this link to read a past post about the habits of teenage worms. Or not.

Confessions of a total chicken

2009-04-17T19:09:00.000-07:00

OK, we went to a local theme park yesterday to fully celebrate the wonder of SPRING BREAK! Oh to be a kid again, when vacations just didn't come often enough, but sure came more often than when you join the working world.

DH and I both took Thursday off from work, and brought the boys to the local theme park for a day of junk food and rides. We were on a mission to convert Barley into a roller-coaster lover by the end of the day, because it would make our lives easier. Our friends' kids like coasters, and when we have a family day or group day at the Park, all the other thrill-seekers head off in a quest for blood-pumping excitement. Barley and I, well, we just hang out in the kids' area. The little kids area. Where the 3-5 year olds are hanging out. Umm, Barley is 7.

We decided to start the day off with one of the milder coasters in the park. This link takes you to a page listing the rides there. They are rated 1 to 5, and Psycho Mouse was a 4, which surprised me, as I understood it to be a decent "starter" coaster for kids ready to get off the kiddie rides. We saw that some of the kids on line were younger than Barley, so we figured he would be able to handle it. Teddy had already ridden this last summer, and was eager to hit the more challenging coasters, but he agreed to stick with us so we could ride as a family.

Now, I am not a big coaster fan. I've ridden a few, but I don't like the extreme ones, and if I have a choice between riding a coaster and waiting at the bottom and knitting, I'll pick the knitting. More relaxing. But, in the spirit of selling Barley on the wonders of coasters, and knowing he does not like to try new things, we were all going to ride together. So, I was resigned to going on--besides, it couldn't be that bad with all these little kids riding, right?

Boy, have I turned chicken in my middle age. As we were heading up the first big hill, part of my brain was freaking out so bad that I had to focus on my breathing (ohmyGod what am I doing here, why did I agree to this, oh sh!t, HEEEELLLLLPPPP!). Luckily, Barley was sitting in front of me and could not see my panicky reaction. My hands were completely sweaty, and I had a death grip on the rail in front of me.

There was a flattish zig-zag part to the ride at the top, which did not look bad from the ground. Teddy warned us it was scarier up there than it looked--and he was SOOOO right! You ride along and can't see the track under you, so it appears you are driving off a VERY HIGH cliff...then CLUNK, the car suddenly jolts you in the other direction. A primitive survival instinct kicked in, and I was glad that my 7-year old and 10-year old were in the seat in front of me. If this car went off the rails and we plummeted to our death, the boys would go first...how comforting.

I was actually a tiny bit relieved when we started to go straight down instead of the off-the cliff part of the ride...then we went up, which was definitely better than down, then DOWN again, when I really thought I might die of fright, then up again, then DOWN again, and merciful God, the ride was finally over. My chest hurt. And I was NOT going to ride again.

DH bought a picture of the boys on the ride, and unlike the first kiddie coaster, Teddy is not patting his little brother telling him it's going to be OK. Teddy is the only one in the picture completely grinning, but Barley is not grimacing this time. Our plan to ride all together worked--Barley was so excited and enjoyed it so much, he and Teddy raced each other to get back on line. Hanging back, I estimated the ages of some of the other kids also running to get back on line. I think I saw some 5-year olds. When they are that young, they have NO sense of mortality--that is such an advantage!

Me, I am resigned to the fact that I'm a big chicken. Where's my knitting?